The Academy

Chapter Forty Five

Rose:

Jace has his arm around me protectively on the way back as if to keep me from leaving again. My feeling were so muddled about this one simple action that I was trying hard to keep myself from shaking. It was like the train, I loved Jace for being himself and being slightly protective but I wished that he'd let me go. Gods I was indecisive! It's like Cinderella in "Into The Woods"!

Tink had promised me that we'd have a talk, and I figured what she was going to say, something along the lines of "We all go through this phase of feeling like they're worthless." To that I would laugh.

Growing up in the orphanage that I lived in, you were raised to know that you are worthless. I wasn't cruel enough to ever say that woman's name but I'll never forget that on my fourth birthday instead of even pointing it out in passing like the other kids she pulled me to the side and sneered in my ear, "I wish you never came to this orphanage you worthless girl. I swear if something happened to you I would be happy." Less than a month later I ran away, never looking back.

On the streets, again, worthless. Nobody ever paid me any attention, nobody even gave me food, I had to resort to stealing and digging through garbage to find any food. At the end of the day I would almost always end of either hungry or beaten because of the stealing.

Happy childhood right?

I looked out the window, watching the passing trees, how the ones closer would pass faster than the ones farther away. It was almost ironic how much this was a metaphor for my life.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself. I told myself, pulling myself back to the present out of my dreadful past.

Jace looked at me, "What are you thinking about?" his blue eyes looked into my brown ones. "Everything." I replied, and turned back to the window. He gave a small laugh, "You have a way with words." I gave him a small smile and replied, "Thanks."

Soon, we pulled back into the Institute.

Logan was standing with his arms crossed, glaring at the car. "Here we go." I muttered with a sigh, opening the car door.

He held up the note that I had wrote, "What in the hell was this?" he asked me and I sighed. "Sorry." then he frowned, "Sorry? You're my kid too. You may not realize that-" "Did you even read that note? I realize I'm your kid!" I yelled, shoving past him.

Inside I walked up to my room in silence, Jace walking behind me, giving me reasonable personal room.
When I finally got to my room I threw my duffel bag on the floor and sat down. Jace sat down next to me. "I like your hair." he said twirling a bit of it around his finger. "Thanks." I replied with a sigh, then he took a deep breath. "You know we're all just worried about you." "I wish you wouldn't sometimes. It would make a lot of things easier." I said quietly, and looked at the floor. Jace narrowed his eyes at me and his hand fell. "What are you so afraid of?" "Everything, don't you realize that? I'm afraid of the future, hat may happen, of the past, being tossed out. Guess I figured I should get a headstart." I said sadly, refusing to look at him. What would he think? Would he call it stupid, would he be surprised?

"Being afraid is okay, Rose. You're just a person. But you have to realize that, realize that we're here for you." he said reaching over and gently holding my hand, as if to keep me from slipping away. "I'm sorry." I whispered, and he laughed, "For what?" "For almost leaving, I thought you guys would be better off without me." I said, my voice cracking from holding back tears. He rolled his eyes, I didn't have to look at him to be able to tell that. "Now that's stupid."

There was a knock at the door and Tink was standing there, "Am I interrupting?" she asked, with a small smile. I shook my head. "No I think Jace and I figured out our thing." Now I finally looked at him and he was smiling. "Sure hope we did." he replied, giving me a quick kiss that sent butterflies through me. He stood up and gave me one for smile before leaving.

Tink walked over. "Hey Rose." "Hey Tink." I replied, trying to find some way to apologize. "You doing better?" she asked and I shrugged, "Talking with Jace certainly helped. Anyway, for some reason I feel like I did better after Wendy. Weird how that works?" I told her, attempting to clear the air.