t w e n t y f i v e . proximities and relapses
Dear Reyansh,
Always, I had always dreamt about being a girl who would never date anyone, be independent, strong and away from matters of the heart. I never felt the need to have someone by my side, because I am enough for myself. I mean, ain't need someone to complete me, main apne main hi best hu.
And then you happened.
Jaanti hu, ki main thi, jissne tumhari peaceful lonesome life main toofan macha diya by making you be my friend, jabardasti. Kya karu, kisi ko dukhi main dekh nahi sakti aur kisi ke saath khush tum dikhte nahi.
Slowly, writing these letters became my favourite pass time, and from that they became a constant, like I am sharing a piece of myself to you, a part which no one else knows. Kabhi pata hi nahi chala kab tum adaat ban gaye, tumse roz baat karna, lunch saath share karna, notes share karna aur tumhare bastetball matches main paaglo ki tarah cheer karna, this is all became more fun than anything else.
Seeing you smile was the first time I felt that something was happening to me, and shayad I would have not contemplated my feelings if it was not for you and your audacity to propose to me in front of half the college after the annual day event.
Never thought I would be this surprised in my life, but you told me you wanted to date me this last year, spend some times, make more memories without the need to tie each other down and I when I said I needed time, you smiled at me, "le le", you said, "but saal khatam hone pehle bata dena,"
Idiot, sabse bade idiot ho tum, par shayad, thodi idiot main bhi hu because I am going to do something against my own principles.
So Mr. Reyansh Khurana, yes, I will be your girlfriend, because I like you too.
Aagey jo ho, dekha jayega, for now, I wanna see where this leads us.
Yours, officially,
Pranati
p.s. I am a very difficult and moody girl to handle, I hope you know that. For sure you will regret being with me soon lol xD
_
Jugnu was in tears, why, she had no idea but the words often hurt her, no matter what they always hurt her. But it was not just the taunts about her, it was the fact that her mother was always insulted, always taunted and always looked upon. She was a kid, but the experiences, the cruel harsh and modern society and the colourful words of the people had often hampered her innocence and naivety, to such an extent that Jugnu was not a kid anymore.
And that scared Pranati, she could see her kid being an adult, and she hated that. The innocence of a child, the beauty of living a carefree and happy childhood was stolen from her daughter and no matter what, she could not stop her kid from buried under the judgmental words of the society they lived in. One of the many reasons Pranati felt safe in Mussoorie was because none of this bullshit was around, sure they were lonely there, but they were happy. Here, having so many people and yet facing the same thing again and again hurt even more.
She took a deep breath, and fisted her hands, and with a fake smile she walked towards her daughter who was seated on the edge of the fountain, legs dipped in the cold water and she was throwing pebbles in the bubbling water. Pranati removed her scandals and sat besides her daughter, the other way, her feet on the wet grass and Jugnu wiped her tears instantly. "DM, you should not sit with me, or I am going to keep crying, you know that."
