Tum Kaafi Ho ✓

💌 dear pranati 💌

Dear Pranati,

Should I resort to writing letters like you did back then? Would that make you come back? I cannot… aah fuck this.

Yours,

Rey

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Dear Pranati,

This is day 7 of writing letters to you.

I cannot breathe. I had a panic attack on the basketball court. The coach told me that I needed to get my head back in the game. He did not know that it wasn’t my head, rather my heart. It does not like basketball anymore. You took it away with you when you left.

So I quit the national team.

Silly, how I gave you up for basketball. And now basketball doesn’t seem fun anymore.

How are you doing? It’s been on week but the attempt to search for you is futile.

I’ll go back to the Mishra House. I’ll go on my knees. I’ll beg for them to tell me.

I’ll go back to jail again, if it means that I know where you are right now.

Please, just… stay put. I am trying my best to get to you.

Stay happy. Or try to.

Yours,

Rey

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Dear Pranati,

It’s been one month since you left. My life isn’t the same anymore. My family is having a hard time understanding why I left the national team when that was all I wanted my entire life. My brother knows about you, but not the entire story. I am just clinging to the hope that I’ll see you soon.

And when I do, I am going to keep you.

The Mishra’s have gotten a restraining order on me. The police had come home today and warned my family about my constant badgering in their house.

My father raised his hand on me. He never raised his hand on me before. It did not hurt as much as I anticipated.

But I have been warned to stay home.

Home? I don’t think I have one.

My panic attacks are getting worse. I am struggling to write this, my hands are shaking and teardrops imprinting on the paper. I am trying to get back to sanity, but I cannot. My family got me in intense therapy and counselling, but I don’t think they can help either.

All I keep thinking about is you.

How are you? Are you taking care of yourself?

I am having a hard time breathing.

I hope life is easy on you. I hope and pray that you are happy and safe, I’ll live through thousands of these attacks if it means you are okay.