Josh Richards Imagines

I N S E C U R E

This one was recommended by @fanficforyouuofc so thank you so much!!!

Maya's POV:

It was a rainy saturday afternoon and josh and I were in our bed, I was laying on his bare chest listening to the sound of the rain and his heart beating. Josh had one hand going up and down my back and the other was holding his phone scrolling through instagram. I was sad because it was raining and I really just wanted to go outside and enjoy the beautiful spring weather we have been having lately but I do love a good rainy day.

J- wow

M- what?

J- she's gotten way hotter since the last time I saw her 

deep down that hurt. he was calling someone other than his girlfriend hot. wow is right

M- I wanna see

He showed me his phone. She was the complete opposite of me. (please take no offense to this because everyone is beautiful but it's just for the story <3). She was brunette, brown eyes, had big boobs and and a big butt but was still skinny and was just overall beautiful.

M- she is pretty 

J- yeah she is

I just laid my head back on his chest. I started having all of these thoughts go through my head. Like i'm not good enough, I'm ugly, I'm fat, He doesn't deserve me, he deserves way more than whatever I am, ect. Josh was the only boyfriend that i've ever had that has made me feel loved and appreciated and like I had a purpose and I was supposed to be here. Now it's like he's throwing aways all that trust I built with him. Hell I lost my virginity to him. I know it's stupid but for a girl with and overwhelming amount of insecurities, this was like the world was ending. Before I knew it I had tears coming out of my eyes and they were dripping onto Josh's bare chest. I heard his phone click off and his arms instantly went around my body.

J- shhh baby it's ok

Him just saying that made me cry more. I shoved my head even more into his chest if it's even possible. I just needed him. His hands were rubbing my back up and down and massaging my head. After a few minutes I stopped crying but my hiccups were still there. I just laid there clung onto josh.

J- do you want to tell me what's wrong

I instantly shook my head no scared of what he would think

J- please babygirl 

I still shook my head no. He lifted me up and sat up. He placed me in his lap and looked into my eyes. He took his thumb up to my cheek and wiped my tears.

J- how bout now eh

I just sat there in his lap and stared at my fingers. I fiddled with my rings and I guess he figured out that I was overwhelmed in thoughts and my anxiety was getting the best of me. He grabbed my hand and with his other pulled me into him. I started to trece little pictures onto his skin. I did this for a while and we sat in silence.

J- baby 

I ignored him to scared to look in his eyes

J- princess can you look at me.... please

I slowly turn my head to look at him

J- can you tell me why you were crying?

I nodded my head yes and started to talk to him

M- well you know that picture you showed me

J- yeah

M- well it just made me feel really really insecure. Like you're the only person that made me feel wanted, loved, appreciated and like I had something to live for. When you said she was really pretty it really hurt my feelings because She is the complete opposite of what I am. She's pretty and I'm ugly. I don't understand why you would choose me over the millions of other girls on this planet that are a billion times better than I am. I know it's stupid but I have some many insecurities that it just messed me up. When I lost my virginity to you I felt so overwhelmed just because I was so vulnerable to you and you saw my whole body and I-I-I-

J- stop baby just breathe for a second. Baby that girl means absolutely nothing to me. First I would just like to say she was just a girl I went to school with and me calling her hot in that case was nothing of the good kind because the only reason she looks the way she does is because she got surgeries and shit like that. Second you are not ugly and If I ever hear you call yourself ugly again we are going to sit down and have a conversation or whatever it takes to make sure you know that you are everything. You're not even hot baby you're a goddess. Third I chose you because of you. I could go on forever and ever on why I chose you but to sum it all up, you have the best personality. You are caring , sweet, kind, funny and so very very smart. You are the prettiest person on this planet. I don't have words to explain how beautiful you are. I knew going into this relationship that we wouldn't be moving fast and I was 1000% fine with that. I knew that I needed to be that one boyfriend that made you feel like the goddess you are. I knew that a lot of things we would do as a couple would be the first time you had done something like it and that's ok. I was so ready for a relationship were I didn't feel like anything was being rushed and you babygirl were the answer to my problem. I love you more than you could ever imagine and if you ever feel like this again please tell me ok. I love you baby.

He said kissing my lips gently 

M- I'm sorry

I said while laying on his chest

J- and what are you sorry for?

M- making such a big deal out of that

J- no. I will not let you be sorry

M- why not?

J- because that is something that you cannot control. Sometimes there are just little things in our brain that make us have those insecurities and and anxieties about certain things and that's ok. We will get through it together ok lovey

I knew from the beginning that I had the best boyfriend but now I'm even more certain of it .