Winchester & Novak - A Destiel Hogwarts AU

Chapter 12

  Cas could barely keep his eyes open. After his fight with Dean, he hadn't gotten much sleep. Cas didn't want to get out of bed, he didn't want to talk to anyone, and he sure as hell didn't want to play Quidditch. The game was set to start at 11:00.

  Normally Cas would jump at the opportunity to play, but today he would have to face Dean. He wasn't sure he could do that. After Cas had accidentally blurted out his feelings, he was sure Dean wouldn't want to talk to him again. Cas had spent most of his night crying in the bathroom, where no one could hear him.

  Cas thought of one person he could talk to. He rolled out of bed, pulled on jeans and a long sleeve sweater, and left the common room. He went to the library, where he knew he could find Meg. Cas must have looked like he'd been crying and was tired, because when he found her, Meg stood up and hugged him, which she rarely did.

  "Hiya, Clarence." Cas smiled. "I still don't understand that reference." He told her, making her laugh. Cas was one of the only people who could truly make Meg laugh. Cas loved it when she did; it lit up her face and she looked beautiful. Meg sat down, pulling Cas with her. "Are you okay, Cassie? You look upset." Cas shrugged. She looked at him expectantly and he sighed.

  He told her everything. He told her about being in love with Dean, about seeing Dean with Lisa, and about the fight they'd had last night. When he finished, Meg stared at him with wide eyes. "Wow." Was all she said. Cas nodded with a sigh.

  Then Meg cleared her throat and said, "You want me to beat him up? I've been meaning to hex that smirk off his face since I first met him." Cas laughed. "No. No, it's fine, Meg. Thanks. I should get going. Thanks again." Meg smiled at him. "Any time, Clarence."

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  Cheers came from every direction. In all honestly, the sound hurt Cas' head. It was an hour after the game. Hufflepuff had won. Cas had put every ounce of hurt and anger he had into that game and they won by a long shot. Cas had put all his feelings into that game, but they still flew through him.

  People kept coming up and congratulating him. He would give them the best smile he could and ignore them. Cas wanted to cry. He had loved Dean for so long and had tried so hard to keep it hidden.  But then he had to go and blurt it out, and now Dean knew. Cas worried about what Dean now thought of him.

  Cas knew Dean didn't feel the same; Lisa was proof of that. Dean not returning his feelings wasn't even what Cas worried about most. What if Dean didn't want to be his friend any more? What if he stopped talking to Cas? All if these questions and feelings stung. Cas rubbed his wrist subconsciously.

  Cas ran a hand through his hair. He hadn't meant to say that. He didn't want Dean to know. Cas had always thought it would ruin their friendship and now it probably had. Cas' eyes sting. He didn't want to cry. He stood up and pushed his way through the Hufflepuff crowd. He heard Charlie call his name, but he ignored her.

  Cas had no idea where he was going, he just kept walking. He walked out of the castle. The wind was cool and the sky was grey and cloudy. The breeze hit Cas and made him shiver, but he didn't care. He'd been too distracted to grab a coat on his way out. When Cas finally stopped walking, he found himself by the lake.

  Cas crossed his arms to keep warm as he sat on a boulder. He watched the water splash again the shore. Cas felt a single tear roll down his cheek. He didn't even try to stop it. Thunder crackled above him. He looked up as it started raining. Soon Cas could no longer tell the rain from his tears.

  He cried for liking Dean, he cried for not telling him, he cried and cried. He stared at the lake. The wind and rain were sharp against his skin. His thin sweater was doing nothing to keep him warm. Cas had no idea when he left the lake or how long he'd been out, but he found it dark when he walked back into the castle. He saw Jo run towards him.

  She trapped him in her warm arms, shouting. Castiel didn't pay much attention to her words. "Oh my God! Cas! Cas, what the hell? Bloody hell, you're freezing! Where were you?! Come on, let's get you warm." Cas allowed her to guide him without saying a word. Jo pulled Cas into the Great Hall, wrapping him in a blanket she must have summoned.

  She sat him in front of the giant roaring fire. Cas focused on the fire, ignoring his surroundings. The only time he truly focused was when he heard a new person come up. "Hey, Jo. Can I, um . . . Can I talk to him alone?" He heard the familiar voice of Dean Winchester ask. He kept his eyes fixed on the fire as Jo kissed the top of his head and walked away. Dean knelt next to him.