CHAPTER 1

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The night is cold yet again. Wakkanai is getting colder each day. I just ended my shift at the restaurant a few blocks away from the apartment we're renting. I started rubbing my palms together, wanting to make warmth and heat. The shuddering feelings of my entire body continued as I stared at my reddish and calloused hands, though working more than my body could, I couldn't spend anything for myself... not even a pair of gloves. Imagine, I could wear a nice pair, but my little brother and sister won't eat for a day... I can endure the little cold... I have endured way beyond for more than 4 years now; nothing can tell me otherwise.







I'm working almost my whole life but earning money has never been easy. I work two jobs successively to support the needs of my siblings. Being the eldest has never been simple and easy. It goes without saying, a difficult role to play since we only got ourselves because our parents died a few years back in a car accident by an irresponsible rich brat. I was told that the boy who killed our parents came from a very prestigious family, and obviously, we lost the trial. Like yes... money makes the world round!





I felt a shivering coldness as the wind blew hard. It seems like life is charging my body as I felt numbness and tiredness all over. I stopped at the sidewalk, deciding whether I should move or stay here for a while. The snow is falling, and the cold breeze makes me freeze. Just my old, knitted jacket won't save me from the coldness that's coming.





I walked briskly against the wind and let out a sigh of relief as I sighted the apartment building few walks away from where I stood.



The warmth feeling inside me vanished as I realized how odd it was... Every room has opened their lights, but ours remains cold dark. I reached for my spare key and entered the small flat.







"I'm home." I whispered yelled bending down removing my shoes and placing them on the rack beside the door.





I stood as I tried turning on the lights, but it didn't flicker. I sighed.



"Rina, Rinmarō..." I called out groping the walls of our small home.





"Nii-san!" my younger sister yelled wrapping her arms around my waist. She is 12 and doesn't attend school, though I promised her I would save money... of course, our daily needs like food come first.



"Rina.. Where's Marō?" I asked cowering down, kneeling so I can face her.





"He's in the kitchen... Anyway, nii-san, our electric current was cut off... because Okane-san said we're late in paying the rent and the electricity and-"



"Here.. I got my salary for the 15th... This should be enough." I said weakly trying my best to hold my tears.



"Great! I will pay tomorrow. And do grocery shopping early." She excitedly responded. Children her age should find dolls, friends, dresses, and malls more exciting rather than buying different kinds of stuff for the house... I felt completely useless and pathetic letting my sister suffer like this... We are poorer than mice that sometimes I just wanted to burst out crying.



My trance stopped as I felt a caress on my cheeks.







"You're overthinking again, are you, nii-san?" Rina asked worriedly staring at me.







I shook my head, trying to smile but broke out.





"I... I'm sorry... I... I couldn't do anything... to support you... and Marō... I promise you... once things get better, I'll send you to school.... And let you experience being... a kid... to play..." tears pouring out of my tears uncontrollably.





She wiped my tears and smiled a little.

"I love helping around the house, Nii-san.. Please.. You are doing more than enough... You sacrifice so many things for us... Take it easy, okay? Big Brother Marō and I are alright... You should take good care of yourself, too." She said holding my right hand, rubbing them with hers. "It's cold outside..."



"Nii-san... Rina.." a whispery- like voice echoed inside the room.





Rinmarō, my younger brother who is 15 shifts his wheelchair as he leans well forward, moving the wheels to make it stride towards us. He suffers from multiple sclerosis, and is using a wheelchair almost his entire life. His medication costs a lot... but we still manage to buy some.



He smiled brightly at us. He has always been so strong, and I admire him for that.

"Aaaah, Big Brother Marō... I told you... You should call me if you're moving from one place to another..." Rina almost screamed standing walking near Marō.

"Well... I can still move my arms, Little sis, so no worries..." he replied leaning way more and accidentally falling to the floor with a thud.



I quickly stood from where I am and knelt beside my brother, helping him back into the wheelchair.



"Tsk. Tsk.. What did I tell you, ha?! You aren't listening!" Rina reprimanded, pulling the wheelchair a little so Marō could sit more comfortably.

"...." We just looked at her as she put her hands on her hips like she is the eldest.



Both Marō and I chuckled.

"What?!" she asked then smiled. Her smile faded as she looked at Marō.

"Nii-san... Marō- nii needs his Interferon-beta..."

"R... Right.. Don't worry, okay? I'll be earning my salary for the 20th in my second job... That should be enough to cover at least half of what he needs... then we could buy on the 30th again... Okay?" I replied trying to sound certain... but deep down I'm so scared if I would be able to do anything to help my younger brother.



"See, Big Brother Marō? Nii-san got everything covered. Don't worry.. We can manage things all right?"



We all smiled.

"Dinner's ready by the way..." Rina said excitedly heading to the kitchen, holding a candle.



"You two just grab your meals, then head to bed, alright?" I said pushing my brother's wheelchair.

"What about you, Nii- san? Aren't you gonna eat?" Marō asked gazing up at me.



"You have your second job tonight?" Rina queried putting the plates down on the table.

"Yeah, I have my 10 pm shift... so I need to take some sleep before heading out..."

Both of them nodded, and I just find my way to the bedroom, to the futon to be exact. I laid down trying my best to take some good nap, tears escaping my eyes... I'm so tired... I'm so exhausted... My body hurts, it feels so cold. They have no idea of what work I have for my night shifts.. and I have no intentions of telling them.



I reached for the blanket, covering my entire body with it. The thoughts of the work tonight bring a shiver into my spine. Just thinking about it makes me weak and makes my legs tremble in terror and fear. I always despise myself for this... If only there are only other ways to earn money faster... I wouldn't work in that place... If only we are fortunate... I wouldn't have to hide the truth and sell my body for money.

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