Dawn in Vancouver

Chapter 46: "Secret Love Song" (Pt.1)

"It's obvious you're meant for me. Every piece of you, just fits perfectly. Every second, every thought, I'm in so deep, but I'll never show it on my face"

"Secret Love Song" written by Lauren Jauregui and Camila Cabello

Dinah Jane was literally choking. Camila ran through the kitchen to pour her a glass of water as an almost pale Dinah coughed from the apple she was eating that had been left in her throat from the surprise.

Camila came to her side slapping her back lightly as Dinah took a drink of water.

"I swear my intention was never to kill you," Camila said half-smiling as Dinah remained speechless. "Even though your questions are the most uncomfortable that I've ever been asked in my life."

"If I lose my voice," Dinah said almost breathlessly. "My manager is going to kill you."

"You're not going to lose your voice," Camila said rolling her eyes. "Your evasion of the question was convincing for a moment, Dinah," Camila said. "But you honestly don't have to answer me. I know."

"I don't understand what you're talking about," Camila sat down across from her and Dinah avoided her gaze.

"Dinah you don't have to hide anything from me," Camila said. "You are the only one who knows a part of my life and I want to listen to you just like you did to me, please trust me the same way I trusted you."

"Am I that obvious?" Camila simply looked into her eyes and Dinah looked away embarrassed. "How awful."

"Do you like women?" Camila asked softly and Dinah gave her a sad smile.

"I've never had a formal relationship with anyone but I've had a few short relationships with some women."

"Do Lauren and Normani know?" Camila asked and Dinah denied sadly.

"They don't know I'm gay," she whispered. "No one knows," she looked into her eyes. "Only you."

"Why haven't you told them?" Camila encouraged her by giving her a soft smile.

"Because it's hard for me to accept it," Dinah looked away. "I'm not so open about my private life. I like to play games and make jokes on others but I'm a human being like everyone else and I have my moments where I feel lonely and afraid. I have the support of girls, but there is always that insecurity that knowing that they are going to leave me. Like my family did."

"Your family?" Dinah nodded sadly.

"They never supported me in my dream," Dinah began to explain. "Since I was fifteen years old I knew my passion was music. My parents are well off because my father is CEO of a very large marketing company in Hawaii. I never saw him, and my mother never believed that I could achieve my dream. And sometimes it's hard to believe in yourself when no one else does."

Camila felt a lump in her throat as she understood Dinah. No matter how much money you have, life can always be cruel. They were a group of women who had suffered. All in different ways, but they had, and that possibly made them a close-knit group. Camila believed she had finally found friends for life.

"Why do you think they won't accept it?" Camila whispered.

"I know Lauren will, and she doesn't worry me because it's obvious she understands what it's like," she looked into her eyes. "I'm afraid for Normani. I love her and I'd rather have her as a friend than have her walk away from me. She's a difficult person a lot of the time and I don't want to get in trouble with her."

"I've noticed," Camila said sadly, "She doesn't take well what's going on between Lauren and me.

"Everyone has the right to live their lives as they see fit, Mila. If you want to be with Lauren, you can be with Lauren and no one can interfere in your relationship."