ʀᴇᴄᴏʀᴅɪɴɢ

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The interior of the recording studio had, of course, been designed and cut smaller. Narrow but long wooden panelling had been fitted to three of the four walls. Diffusers. The main focus, however, was on the large microphone stand in the centre of the room. Right next to it was a large flat screen monitor.

"Do you want to sit or stand?" asked Seungri, and startled, I winced. After our brief unplanned interlude, Seungri insisted on remaining in the recording studio to hear me sing. I could only manage a stutter, my mind too caught up in the level proceedings. I had sung and danced with a member of BigBang, probably a dream of hundreds of girls. What I was more focused on was the aspect that for the moment I felt a sense of happiness, joy and excitement coursing through my body and mind.

"Ehm...standing...I guess.", I just muttered to myself and clenched my hands into fists. The excitement was now palpable and spreading throughout my body, making me struggle to move my legs closer into the room.

"You don't have to be nervous," said Seungri, guiding me closer to the microphone. He moved the stand and adjusted it to my height so that the thin diaphragm was right in front of my face. A pair of headphones lay over the stand and I put them on. A little later, the flat-screen TV next to me also lit up and booted up. My heart was beating up to my throat and I blew my breath against the membrane. My hands were shaking badly from the adrenaline. Seungri watched me silently and then stepped up beside me. With a quick wave against the window, he pulled the pleated blind down so that I could no longer see the control room. Gratefully, I nodded, though the excitement in my body could only be minimally lowered.

"Shall I stay?" he asked and I nodded frantically. He smiled broadly and faced me. Hands still trembling, I looked to Seungri as the opening music of "Break Free" played and I winced significantly. I knew my cue would come soon after and looked more than anxiously at the monitor. When I could make out the first words, in combination with my cue, I closed my eyes.


If you want it, take it

I should have said it before

Tried to hide it, fake it

I can't pretend anymore

I only want to die alive

Never by the hands of a broken heart

I don't wanna hear you lie tonight

Now that I've become who I really am


I looked at Seungri, who theatrically put his hand on his chest. He stretched his other hand in my direction and closed his eyes. A smile appeared on my lips. I relaxed more and more and the muscles in my shoulders relaxed. My gaze returned to the pop shield and I closed my eyes.

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