ℓєт υѕ ωяιтє нιѕтσяу - ʙʟΛƆᴋᴘɪИᴋ 5тн мємвєя

ᴛɪᴍᴇ

I began to shake my head.

Displeasure and discontent overshadowed my body as I paused the recording after the chorus of Beyoncé's "7/11" and sighed loudly.

Although the monthly reviews were a few days ago and we were more relaxed about the remaining time of the month, the pressure gradually started to build up again as September began.

The ticking of the clock on the wall echoed louder through the empty dance room with each passing second as I played the recorded video over and over again. My numerous notes on the choreography lay scattered on the floor. Some sketches and notes had been crossed out or painted over, while others remained intact.

Listed in the margins and underlined in red, were Yang Hyun-suk's various mistakes and notes since our first performances together as a group. A large part of this was my first monthly assessment, but this reduced considerably as the months went by and my experience grew. By now, it was the little things that still occurred unconsciously despite continuous practice, such as unflattering facial features or a cramped-looking movement while dancing.

I was running my hand through my wet strands and brushing them back when a soft knock sounded at the door.

"Annyeonghaseyo." I smiled and looked up as I recognised Lisa's childlike voice. The Thai woman indicated a small bow before stepping into the room with a broad smile.

"We saw the lights were still on...and wanted to check," she said and behind her, Jennie, Ji-soo and Rosè stepped into the room. Much like me, they were still wearing their clothes from training.

"Come on in," I said, turning my back to the recording while the four girls placed their bags on the benches. I frowned as I noticed the absence of their leader and the last member.

"Where's Choi?" I asked immediately. The girls exchanged glances with each other.

"She wanted us to go ahead already," said Rosè cautiously and I nodded understandably before automatically thinking of Hannah. I knew that, despite our conversation, the criticism still got to her.

And similarly to how we tried to deal with our criticisms, the girls from the other group had to as well. Everyone was sharply criticised in one way or another by Yang Hyun-suk for their performance, no one was spared. Their status as a presumed debut group, only made him expect more perfection and flawlessness so he paid close attention to every wrong move and sound.

A condition that only added to the pressure.

Especially with the five girls. 

"What are you working on?" Ji-soo asked curiously, pulling me out of my thoughts. I took a longer look at the recording, hoping the brief distraction of the girls would have been enough for spontaneous ideas, however, my mind continued to be restless and blank.

"Working on the dance choreography for the assessments at the end of the month, but...I'm not getting anywhere..." I began, throwing my head back and moving it to the sides to release the stiffness of so many hours. I then looked back at the screen and gathered up some of the sheets.

"I don't think you should worry too much about this matter, Josie. The month has only just begun and you still have plenty of time to put the choreographies together." Rosè remarked, then gave me an encouraging smile through the mirror. I knew she was right, but could only shake my head. My hands, now chilled from the floor, clasped my warm face.

"Besides, your dance performances have always been very original so far," Lisa said with a broad smile as my fingers cupped my cheeks. The others nodded in agreement while I could only look at them thoughtlessly. My lips twisted into a thin line before my eyes slid back to the laptop as if it was their magnet.

"I thank you...but...unfortunately originality depends on the time it takes me to put the choreography together. It also has to be appealing and doable for everyone, another factor that is affected by time. Then there are the training hours and the school. It doesn't matter much how much time we have for the choreographies or overall preparations...in the end, it still feels like a hectic race against time." I explained quietly, looking up.

"I guess that's true. As soon as we finish, we start all over again. Month after month," Jennie replied thoughtfully.

"Yes. It's...like it was only yesterday that I passed my audition and got to start my training here. Sometimes it's like the days just keep slipping and merging into each other so that over time you have trouble telling them apart." Rosè said and I turned my head in her direction. She just shrugged and tugged at her track pants.

I smiled slightly.

"I can't believe September has already arrived. And even less that I've been here for half a year already." I remarked incredulously, wrapping my arms around my legs. My chin leaned on my knees, lost in thought, I stared at the blank wall.

"It's surreal, isn't it?" asked Ji-soo, smiling.

"And by now, years have passed for most of us," added Lisa quietly, looking at the girls.

My eyes travelled to each one.

Although six months of training was a long time on the face of it, it was in no way comparable to the years some of the girls and boys in this entertainment had already gone through to realise their dream.

And probably still had ahead of them, when I thought of our youngest three housemates.

I thought back to our conversation in the cafeteria.

Just their willingness to sacrifice going to other countries, training far away from family and the usual to achieve their dreams already spoke of a strong character.

"You love music too much to give it all up now."

I had said the sentence to Hannah on impulse, without really thinking about it carefully. But in moments like that, an outsider only becomes more aware of how much truth and strength was hidden in that small seemingly insignificant sentence.