Josephine Swan never thought she would be drawn into the world of K-Pop during her stay in South Korea. Every day she faces challenges that fate has in store for her and her four members.
"𝙇𝙚𝙩'𝙨 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙝𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙮 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙣𝙤𝙬...
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Blue ink covered the half-filled paper of my writing pad while my grey eyes fixed intently on the next sections of the chapter to be read. A small torn strip of paper was already gathering on the left side of my pad, outnumbering the amount of unused remaining sheets, most of which were filled with information and bullet points about human metabolism, metabolic transport and energy turnover.
I gave a soft sigh of relief as another fully written sheet added to my collection of notes on the given exam topics, and with a quick flick of my wrist, I removed it tearingly from the writing pad.
A cup of hot steaming tea suddenly placed itself at the edge of the wooden table and I looked up in surprise. I blinked a few times as I made out the familiar simmering of the kettle in retrospect, its intensity already diminished.
Jennie's dark brown almost black eyes gazed at me sympathetically, her delicate fingers moving the cup closer in my direction without spilling the water coloured by the tea.
"You should take a break, Josie," she said, casting an appraising glance over my collection of open books and notebooks.
"You've been studying for three hours, nonstop." the dark-haired beauty added. My fingers grasped the handle of the cup and gently guided it towards my mouth before I shook my head after a quick sip.
"Thanks...but...I have some working out to do that can't wait," I replied, lowering the cup. Jennie's fingertips slowly ran over the notes, her eyes skimming over the bullet points listed regarding biologically oriented topics.
"Even today...?" she echoed with a small smile, and I smirked.
Today began with a series of loud and rapid heart-pounding, combined with nervousness and excitement that continued throughout the day but peaked once again with the monthly demonstrations and performances.
It was almost reminiscent of my first evaluation.
Something new and exciting, as well as scary and punishing in equal measure.
"Even today." I smiled as joy and gratitude at the outcome of today and the weeks of work invested once again, flared up like a hot flame in my chest, burying the stress and strain of my upcoming exams under its fire.
I heard Jennie sigh softly.
"Even though I know you'll turn it down..." she began to say carefully before faltering in her words. Her head turned to look through the narrow slit of the sliding door that separated the kitchen and living room. I followed her gaze and glimpsed the pink sleeve of Rosé's sweater, as well as Lisa's white socks amidst the black leather sofa.
"...We really wouldn't mind supporting you in your exam preparations, Josie," she added afterwards, turning back in my direction. Involuntarily, I gripped the cup in my hand tighter, the heat of the water penetrating deeper through my skin. My teeth anchored in my lower lip and I finally loosened my grip.
My lips twisted into a grimace that seemed grateful.
"You know my opinion on the subject, Jennie," I replied after a while, subconsciously reminding her of our ongoing conversation during our haircut visit a few days ago.
My features turned into a tentative little smile.
"I am already grateful for all the help you have given me over the past few weeks. Your support in the first few days alone has been...very accommodating and caring." I explained, reaching out with my tea-heated hand to take hers before squeezing it in gratitude.
♛
Thoughtfully I watched the rising smoke of the hot water in my freshly filled teacup, while my back pressed relaxed against the back of the chair. In the meantime, a frightening silence dominated the apartment, which had been interrupted only a few minutes ago by the closing of the books and my relieved groan.
The girls had decided on short notice to go on a little outing near Hongik University that evening. The Hongdae Art Market Free Market lined up with the various stores and restaurants in the streets of the arts and culture district, selling handicrafts and other odds and ends such as jewellery and clothing at their respective stalls.
A wonderful and well-deserved end to a stressful and upsetting month, for each of us.
I just shook my head and put the tea aside.
The month began as an internal power struggle that I fought mostly with myself. The promises I had made to the other members, as well as my difficulties in accepting and acknowledging my place in the debut group, made it increasingly difficult to get started.
"Great power exerts the right word. Whenever we come upon one of these forceful, apt words, the effect is physical and mental-and lightning spontaneous." (Mark Twain)
The words of the American writer covered the last available pages of the white-bound book with the black writings and quotations that had always accompanied me since the beginning of my training and had been an integral part of my written-down thoughts and feelings.
It reminded me every time of my conversation with Kim Gyeong, which in its length and choice of words filled the last page of the gift as a memory.
A conversation, made of sentences and words, which left a lasting impression with their meaning and power and had led me to today's events and a continuation in the group and the entertainment. Again and again, scenarios appeared in front of my inner eye, which in their details and emerging feelings clarified and additionally underlined the power of his words within my process.
Among them, today's performances are in front of the producers of YG Entertainment and Yang Hyun-suk.
The concept of pride consciously dominated my thoughts for the first time since my sojourn in the K-pop industry, as soon as Yang Hyun-suk brought the redeeming words across his narrow compressed lips. They were not undermined by thoughts of happiness and disbelief as before but spread to every corner of my body, flooding my arteries and veins, entering every living cell and working organism, and finally pouring out of the pores of my sweaty skin.
Meanwhile, my singing teacher's statements, outlined in red, contrasted sharply with the rest of the black-lettered lines that ran through much of the book.
