Josephine Swan never imagined that her stay in South Korea would lead her into K-Pop's glittering and challenging world. Each day, she encounters new hurdles and adventures that fate has in store for her and her four team members. Between gruelling...
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"Is this some kind of joke for you guys, maybe?" he asked, walking slowly down our row while most of the girls tried to avoid his stern gaze. No one said anything, not even the producers in the background.
When he passed Lisa and stopped short, the Thai girl began to tremble more and I gently stroked her thin skin with my thumb. Her rapid pulse throbbed under my fingers.
I glanced at her and faltered anxiously.
Her brown eyes were fixed on her feet and I could guess that she was holding back her tears. Her tight mouth alone underlined my suspicion. Slowly I released my hand from hers and grasped her delicate waist before pulling her closer to me. She allowed it and pressed herself against my body so that I could hear her racing heart. The corners of her mouth twitched in my direction, but her gaze remained fixed on the floor.
I exhaled slowly and turned my head.
Yang Hyun-suk's almost black eyes instantly met my grey ones.
Not a muscle on his face moved as he watched me silently. His lips were bent downwards, not allowing for any joyful emotion. Instead, he seemed cold and harsh. I watched as his eyes moved first over me and then over Lisa's figure beside me. For the second, one corner of his mouth flickered minimally as he caught my clasped arm. Without another word to me or Lisa, he turned his back on us and I felt Lisa beside me breathe a sigh of relief.
"Josephine Swan!"
I winced at his sudden voice, which made my name shake like a thunderclap throughout the room. Even my heart seemed to quiver for that brief moment in the middle of my chest. The other girls were also startled as soon as the name was mentioned, fearing it might be their own.
The initial shock slowly dissipated and I heard more than a few exhale in exasperation as their brains processed the information. Their heads moved and the next moment I felt all pairs of eyes on my person.
My stomach began to flutter at the consistent stares of the people in the room and it almost seemed as if all the organs inside my body were gaining several kilograms. I bit my lip and slowly disengaged my arm from Lisa's hip before stepping out of line. The internal heaviness seemed to increase with each step.
Yang Hyun-suk, on the other hand, remained silent.
"How long have you been training under our entertainment, Josie?" the CEO asked without turning to me. Mentally, I calculated, my fingers beating together tensely.
"Almost 7 months." I finally answered and Yang Hyun-suk nodded.
"...7 months..." I suddenly heard him whisper as his head wandered around the room lost in thought, gliding more than once over the watching crowd. Some of the producers nodded, while others remained still and silent in their seats. Their eyes alternated between me and the CEO.
The realisation came quickly.
Much like a descending bolt of lightning, it passed through my mind and struck my thoughts.
I failed the monthly assessment.
I took a deep breath in and out as these thoughts became clearer and clearer.
I could not convince them.
But with each additional clarity, came disappointment and sadness.
I would have to leave.
My mouth opened slightly as both flooded my body, burying much under their volumes. It was an insight that was equal parts frightening and fascinating and surprising.
I didn't think saying goodbye to this place would be particularly difficult for me. A place I had only arrived at by pure chance and luck. A place that contradicted everything about me.
A place for future K-pop idols, performers and musicians.
People I never expected to be a part of one day.
The beginning was hard and difficult, filled with great scepticism and doubt most of the time. I didn't go to sleep or wake up with the dream of achieving a successful career in the music industry. I had no experience or ideas, and couldn't see the appeal behind the strenuous training that many of the other trainees had been exposed to for years. I often questioned my decision to sign the contract.
But even in seven months, a lot can happen.
Seven months.
A considerable amount of time that I was able to spend and learn here.
A time of friendship.
Although I couldn't see them, I could still feel their glances.
I suddenly had the feeling that my thoughts had never been clearer than at that time.
It was thanks to my members that I was able to feel comfortable in a place that was completely alien to me just a few months ago. They took me in as one of their own and supported, helped and encouraged me. We trained side by side and trusted each other more and more over time, despite the internal competition that came with the contract. Their encouragement and experience made me become part of their group. Through them, I achieved the confidence to find my way into the world of music and K-pop.
And eventually, become a part of that world.
The other girls who gradually came into my life also left their mark. Just the time we spent together was filled with laughter and fun. Each of the eight girls behind me, made me forget the worries and doubts in their way, at least for short moments.
They let light into my inner self and reached a brightly lit room where before there was complete darkness.
I noticed how my body gradually calmed down. My memories and thoughts transformed the initial shock of my exit from entertainment, into beautiful experiences that relaxed me. My back straightened and assumed a straighter posture, while my legs stopped shaking beneath me. My head lifted automatically.
"I have decided after...careful consideration..." began Yang Hyun-suk to say and my eyes shot to his back, which was still facing us. Slowly, he turned around. His dark eyes ran over each of the girls behind me before his eyes lingered on me.
I heard my breathing as I watched his mouth open again.
