Josephine Swan never imagined that her stay in South Korea would lead her into K-Pop's glittering and challenging world. Each day, she encounters new hurdles and adventures that fate has in store for her and her four team members. Between gruelling...
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"You are dismissed for today. See you next month."
My shoulders slumped with relief and strain as Yang Hyun-suk rose from his seat with one last look at us. With his clipboard in his hands, he left the room. One by one, the groups within the watching producers also disbanded and followed the CEO out of the dance hall, whispering one after the other, without continuing to give us their attention as they had been doing for the past few hours.
I slowly packed my small towel into my gym bag as my eyes ran anxiously over our oldest member. Hannah sat just a few feet away from us, looking down at her things almost lost in thought as her fingers kneaded the towel in her hands impassively. Her hair hung wet and curly down her back. I swallowed and lowered my head to my bag.
Jinny and Su-a stepped up beside me and their eyes also glanced uneasily at the Korean woman. With a simple nod from me, they followed the stream of trainees out of the room, leaving us behind.
Goosebumps spread across my body as I walked towards Hannah with my training bag in hand.
"Are you all right, Unnie?" I asked cautiously, stepping close to her. She had her back turned to me and from the silence around us, I could guess how she was. Even now, I found it hard to refrain from wincing at his monotone emotionless voice.
"Your performance was...sluggish and lacking in energy, Hannah! Even in the group performance, you seemed to disappear among the rest of your members, as if you were superfluous to this performance. And your voice...seemed squeezed and tight from start to finish, creating no space, as if the balance wasn't right..."
"No...not really..." I heard her murmur, her arms hanging powerlessly down her body while her drooping head was towards her bag.
I didn't know how to cheer her up at that moment.
My mouth remained closed while my lips lacked the necessary words. A weak performance because she had found the right words then to support and strengthen me in such a similar situation.
As if of their own accord, my legs carried me the few steps that still separated us and my arms wrapped around the middle of her body. Her body tensed under my unforeseen touch but loosened after a few seconds and she began to fall against me. Her head fell back and leaned supportingly against mine. I inhaled her scent of coconut as my chin rested on her shoulder.
"I've been training under YG Entertainment for two years...you'd think I'd be used to his reviews by now," she murmured after a while, hearing a distinct swallow on her part. Her jaw muscles were tense.
"I know we have no choice in the matter, but please...don't take his words too much to heart," I whispered in response.
"I wish it were that simple..." she said and I closed my eyes in agreement.
The Korean criticisms stung deeply and often left hurts that took their time to fully heal. They dragged on for weeks until the next reviews took place and new wounds were added or old ones reopened.
Unfortunately, Yang Hyun-suk was not alone in his opinions and reviews. I could imagine that the other entertainment platforms were equally strict and harsh with their reviews, maybe even harsher.
A well-formed and perfect K-pop group in the eyes of the public did a lot and also received great attention and popularity over time. Not only would the group earn from it, but so would the entertainment in charge.
"I sometimes remember our conversation back. Mostly the part that involved each of us having concerns and fears," she said softly and immediately images of the night flashed.
"Each of us has concerns...even the best of us! Maybe we don't share the same fears and anxieties, but they are ever-present!"
I heard Hannah sigh softly.
"At times like this, I also often think about why I decided to take this step and still pursue it. Exposing myself too hard training and harsh criticism every day, every week, every month, even though I am certain of the uncertain future of my career."
I moistened my lips and placed my hands on hers.
"Then I would similarly answer you as you did in my case.".
"Despite Yang Hyun-suk's criticism today, he has not expelled you from the entertainment, nor has your contract been terminated. You are still a part of our group and this entertainment...and will remain so for many months to come." I replied further and confidently.
"How do you know I will still be an apprentice in a few months?" she asked curiously and I tilted my head so I could finally look at her.
"You love music too much to give it all up now," I said simply afterwards.
"Even if...at some point there was a possibility that your contract would be terminated or that you would decide of your own free will to leave our entertainment...I think you'll get to your destination by other means. Perhaps alone...perhaps with the help of another entertainment." I added.
Again there was silence between us.
We were each thinking our thoughts, while I was still holding her tightly. As time passed, however, I could feel her growing calmer beneath me, her muscles relaxing more and more and her stiffness subsiding. I heard her breathe a short sigh of relief.
"We should go slowly. I'm sure the others are already waiting for us." Hannah finally said, carefully disengaging from our embrace. I watched as Hannah reached for her bag and turned to me as I shouldered my own.
Her mouth twisted into a thin smile before she walked past me and towards the door.
I glanced after her, knowing that she needed time herself at the moment to think about our conversation in peace.
Just as I needed the necessary time to be more aware of some things.
