Josephine Swan never thought she would be drawn into the world of K-Pop during her stay in South Korea. Every day she faces challenges that fate has in store for her and her four members.
"𝙇𝙚𝙩'𝙨 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙝𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙮 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙣𝙤𝙬...
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Two weeks had already passed since I joined YG Entertainment, which I spent alternating between school and training.
My research did not exaggerate when they suggested in various articles how exhausting and nerve-racking life as a trainee was. For foreign trainees, there was also the language barrier, which put additional pressure on them. Five days a week, I received almost four hours of Korean lessons each, including two hours at school.
But with success.
My Korean improved more and more and my teachers in the singing and dancing lessons spent much less time teaching me English, as they had to do more often at the beginning.
The dance lessons with the teachers were also hard and I often pointed out my mistakes. The rhythmic gymnastics, as Hong Eun-ha pointed out, consisted mainly of distinct acrobatic and ballet-like figures. The choreography for the sport was fast and had to adapt to the jumps, turns and stances to match the music. Fortunately, this part was a little different from the daily dance training in the company. Nevertheless, it took me several hours and extra hours of dance training until I could adapt to the new style directions. The pressure of being judged and evaluated after four weeks was not only on me but also on the other girls.
After all, their careers were at stake.
For the next two weeks, we planned to prepare for the assessments. We each had to perform a dance choreography, a group performance and also a solo.
The singing lessons were more difficult than the dance and Korean lessons.
The sports I did and the language skills I had gained for months before entering entertainment gave me a minimal advantage in this regard. In terms of singing, however, these skills did not benefit me. Learning good breath support, a good singing tone and hitting high notes requires hard work and practice.
A beginner, like me, needed work.
A lot of work.
While Kim Gyeong mainly took care of my singing technique, the other teachers helped me with the selection. In their opinion, the songs should connect with me and my feelings without being outside my vocal range. They chose simple songs so as not to strain my voice and had me sing them hundreds of times until they sounded perfect in their eyes. As my singing technique gradually increased, they also increased the difficulty of the songs.
Through the singing lessons, I spent a lot of time warming up and maintaining my voice, even outside of class. After a week, my former flatmates noticed how I started humming quietly during breaks without realising it myself. I noticed how I often sang along softly to the chosen songs during dance practice and I saw my moving mouth in the mirror.
It was bizarre how my body adapted to the training and adjusted to working almost 9 to sometimes 14 hours a day.
At times I even enjoyed it, I had to admit.
♛
It was my first day off after 14 days of continuous strenuous training when I entered the paediatric oncology unit with a tired smile on Sunday morning.
Several nurses nodded at me as I made my way down the bright corridors to Su Bin's and Sun Hi's rooms. At the wide counter of the ward, I stopped for a moment and smiled kindly at the nurses present before picking up my brown backpack. Chung Soo-min and Lee Ye-seul were both experienced nurses in paediatric care and pursued their profession with great passion.
"I have a little something for you," I said, pulling out two large boxes. Out came nearly forty homemade muffins, glowing in many different colours. The fresh smell of fruit filled my nose as I pushed the boxes in their direction.
"You shouldn't have, Josie Ssi," said Soo-min with her mouth open, marvelling at the pastries. I just shook my head and leaned against the counter.
"It was my pleasure, Soo-min Ssi." was all I replied, smiling. The two women took the boxes to them and turned them to all sides. I made sure to create different variations in the decorations so that each cupcake was different. Most featured smilies with smiling faces or flowers with colourful leaves.
"One box is for you and the doctors. The other one is for the children." I explained quietly and they nodded with big smiles on their lips before Soo-min took the boxes off the counter and put them behind her in the nurses' room.
"They're eagerly awaiting you," whispered Ye-seul to me, nodding towards the rooms before Soo-min joined us again.
"Their parents had trouble keeping them calm yesterday because they were so excited. They're dying to know everything!" she added with a mischievous grin. Ye-seul, on the other hand, just shook her head before looking at me with her brown eyes. They reflected slight concern.
"How are you?" she asked and Soo-min's smile also diminished, instead her expression resembling the woman next to her. Her eyes swept over me and I sighed softly. With training and school, I hardly got around to answering this question properly myself. My mind was constantly filled with other things, leaving little room for questions about how I was feeling.
"Honestly...good. The training is arduous but interesting. I keep learning new things and my housemates support me as much as they can. But sometimes it's not easy because of the different statuses among them. The others are more experienced than me and have been training together for years. This in turn increases the pressure on me," I summarised as my thoughts sorted themselves out after almost 14 days and I spoke them out loud for the first time.
It wasn't until last night with the preparation of the muffins that I had the chance to think about it quietly and alone. It presented itself as the perfect opportunity not to think about dancing, singing, expressions or techniques. The increasing pressure that had built up over 14 days gradually disappeared and I spent almost half the night just preparing and decorating the pastries, while my head seemed to get emptier and emptier, relieving me more and more.
