Can a God, truly be redeemed?

Chapter 6

You decide to break down and begin reading the countless messages you have received from Loki. Each one is basically the same as the previous one;

"Are you safe?"

"Darling, please let me explain"

"Treasure, please tell me you are ok, I'm terribly worried about you. I am so regrettably sorry"

"My heart, please answer, say something, anything please. Yell, or scream at me but please don't leave me to the silence. I love you! Please, Im begging you darling!"

''I shall be at Thor's apartment for the time being should you feel the need to find me. I shall give you the space your silence has demanded. No amount of I'm sorrys will suffice. I have royally fucked up my glorious purpose once again. I know I never deserved you, my love. Please, please don't shut me out until we can speak about this. I love you, I will always love you although I know my words hold no weight to them as of right now. Please, my heart, yell or scream at me but don't leave me to the silence."

Your eyes shed more tears as you quietly listen to all of Loki's voicemails. You can hear the utter despair and agony in his voice. The deep bass you had come to worship hearing, now rips scars and holes into your soul. You ache deep inside wanting to run to him and heal the hurt you hear inside. You somehow hate hearing his own pain more, then feeling your own.

"Must mean how much I really do love him, if I'm more worried about the cheating bastard then I am about my own pain from his betrayal" you say softly to yourself.

You shake out your internal thoughts of wanting desperately to go to him and help. You have well and truly lost it. Why should you give a damn about his pain?! This is his doing, is it not?! You had wanted to surprise him! You had wanted to fix things, and grow close again.

He royally fucked up and yet all you want to do is soothe your joint pain in his arms. The arms that have always made you feel safe and loved. The strength he held in them always made you swoon. His long, pale fingers that always found all the right ways to touch you. His hands that mapped out your body like a song, only you both could hear. Your body ached to be held and comforted by his. To hear that deeply sexual voice of his say your name. You always joked with him, that he could read off a grocery list and it would be extremely sexy, all due to his unique bravado.

He would just laugh and give you that small genuine smile while a blush rose over his cheeks, finding you absurd for saying so. You decided you would keep your radio silence for now, as you didn't completely trust yourself on how to handle yourself once you were conversing with him again. You both needed time to think things over. Since he has stated he will be staying at his brother's for the next few days, you decided to stay at the cabin as well. You couldn't dare step foot into the offending apartment just yet. You know if you did, all you would see is him with her. Shockingly, you weren't even mad at the damn bitch. You could tell she had no idea you existed, so you didn't blame her for that. You can't even blame her for hitting on him and taking the given opportunity to sleep with the sexy God in front of her.

Ugh! Why did he do it, huh? Yes, you haven't been around for him the way you should have. Yes, you had been neglecting him and your relationship in place of your new demanding position at work. You both were at fault for the way things were. Was Loki feeling just as crappy about how things had been lately between you both? Did he think you were done with him? Was he under the impression you no longer cared for him, so he should find someone who did?

You spent the next 3 days at your grandmother's cabin. You pondered over every aspect of your relationship. You even wrote out a damn list to organize your fast pace thoughts. As the anger faded out over those three days you came to a startling but obvious realization.