Lost In Time (Druig)

Chapter 18: It's Not Mahd Wy'ry, Is It?

It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light; it's at least what I'm trying to do with all of the trauma I've experienced so far, trying to store it somewhere inside my heart, but it's not that easy. 

I feel like the light at the end of the tunnel is a long way off for me right now. 

I wonder how in the hell the Eternals were able to do this for so many centuries living on this planet, because they've experienced a lot more than me, right? Even thinking about this possibility is making my head tired, and to be honest, I don't know how to really feel about all of it. 

Was it my fault Thomas died? Was I able to protect him even more than I thought I was capable of doing? It's hard asking myself these questions, knowing no one but probably myself can answer them, or at least what I'm trying to tell myself. 

Let me just say it was a difficult moment to be with Thomas' family just now, as their son was there with them wrapped up in a blanket while they said their goodbyes. They held a little funeral for him with some of the villagers, as they are going to bury him soon with the others whom aren't here anymore. 

The funeral made me cry like I've never cried before. I felt my heart aching because of the pain, as I tried to convince myself it maybe wasn't my fault, but the moment of him dying was just playing itself over and over again inside my head, as I was rethinking my thoughts. 

I guess life is never fair, and perhaps it's a good thing for most of us that it is not. Am I one of those people?

I guess the mind controller wouldn't want me to think about that, as he also joined the funeral for a moment, seeing a frightened and broken Anna when all of us said their goodbyes; it broke my heart. 

I couldn't even look the family in their eyes properly, as they ofcourse almost demanded an explanation, but because of their emotions it wasn't a fight as I thought it would break out. They were mourning the death of their son, as they have no room for an emotion like anger.

With the help from Sersi, I eventually told them what I did to protect him. I risked my life for the ten year old boy, not knowing if I was going to die with him in the moment. And luckily, they were somehow grateful for me as they still are, which made me feel a little bit better.

As of right, they're given the time to mourn about their son in peace, just like the whole village is as quiet you can hear a pin drop and wake up the animals who are living in the night. It feels different than it supposed to be. 

But just like Thomas' parents, the whole village needs to recover from this attack, as the Deviants are certainly gone. However, the remaining villagers are trying to seek refuge among others, as almost the whole village is destroyed because of this attack, as they're longing to go back to their rebuild homes.

It feels like once a quiet peaceful place, has gone into madness the villagers weren't even the cause of it. And that's not just the only thing that happened.

Unfortunately both of my questions were answered when I woke up, as Sersi told me the fierce Gilgamesh, the strongest Eternal, didn't survive the attack of the Deviants. It somehow still aches my heart also, even tho I didn't knew him very well, but I know how it's like to lose someone you really love.

And you can tell the Eternals are somewhat divided with the death of now two Eternals, wondering if more will fall with them, even tho they all need to work together now more than ever. 

It was the reason why Thena isn't here right now, and when I woke up the first time in the conference cabin. The two had a special bond they kept when the Eternals split up, as Thena was more than special to him, just like Gilgamesh was to her; it means she deserves the most time to mourn her friend.