Do Us Part

56. "The beginning of the end."

13 years ago

Life with Sam was great and when he asked that we moved in together, I agreed. I figured that since we loved each other so much and were happy, it only made sense with did. So, with some of the money, we made from the success of our app, we rented a two-bedroom apartment about half an hour's ride away from school.

And everything was great..almost perfect even. We did a lot almost everything together; studied, created our kind of magic, and helped each other grow. We were living the dream and just glad to be with each other. Everything was so great...until it just wasn't.  

——-

I held back my tears as I stared at Sam and his friends being playful. "What?" Sam mouthed and I shook my head and looked away from where he was. Soon, he came to me. "Are you ok?" He asks as he sits beside me and held my hand.

"Hmm," I responded, my eyes fixated on my shoes. I didn't want him to know I was close to crying but no such luck, as he used his finger to raise my face to the level of his. As we held the gaze, a tear fell on my cheek and he gasped.

"Baby, what is wrong?"

"Nothing," I said, wiping my tears.

"Natalie?" He had the classic 'spill it expression.

"I will just miss you a lot."

"Aww...baby." He coos and hugs me for a while. He pulled away again, grabbed a chair, and made me sit on his lap. Then, he kisses my forehead. "We live together, Natalie. There is nothing to miss." I sniffed and he places my head against his chest. "You'll go to school every day and I'll go intern at my dad's till I figure out what's next. At night, it'll just be us as usual. Actually, if you think about it, this new arrangement is perfect."

"How?"

"We will get time to miss each other. I won't see you for nearly 12 hours or even 15 sometimes and it would build some tension. Bring back the butterflies." He reasons and I couldn't help but chuckle. As if the butterflies were ever absent.

It's over there years of dating him, and just being near him, doing nothing, is enough to make my heart pound. But, I do get what he means so I smile.

"I guess you are right."

"Another upside is that you get to order me around, to get  dinner or groceries on my way back which I have to, as a working man." He adds.

"Working man, huh? I like the sound of that." I bit my lips.

"I know you do." He whispered close to my lips and we both laughed. He then leaned in forward and kissed my lips. I closed my eyes, kissing him back.

"I love you, my love." He says and I grinned.

"I love you too."

"Good. Now can we go party hard? I start my internship in two days." He pouted and I chuckled and nodded in response.

"Thank you." He says and briefly kissed me again before standing up.

"Who's ready to get drunk tonight?" He screamed and his friends cheered. He went towards the center of the room as he was before, pulling me along.

Three months later

At this very moment, I had never wanted to be more wrong about something in my life. I was on the wet toilet floor as I shakily waited for the third test result, sitting with my thoughts. Once I heard the little beep sound, I nervously picked it up. I felt my heart sink as the stick showed the two lines just like the first and second test sticks did. 

It was official. I am pregnant.

I walked out of the bathroom, not even sure how I was feeling. I shut the door behind me and stared at Sam.

He was sited on the bed, lost in thoughts, and biting on his thumbs - An habit I have come to realize that he does when he is super nervous about something. I shut the bathroom door hard behind me causing him to immediately stand up and look at me.

"And?" He stares at me nervously.

"I am pregnant," I announced. His eyes widened. That wasn't what he was expecting.

Hey, me too

I had never thought this was a possibility. I didn't even imagine I'd ever have to say that 'I'm pregnant at 21. It was weird and the thought just made me feel dizzy.

We have always been very careful. He always used protection because I don't believe in using pills, but that night, after his big graduation party, we were so drunk that we forgot to use protection and until I started vomiting a few days ago, it didn't dawn on me that I could have used the after morning pills after that night but hey, it's too late for all that now.

There is an egg going to be turned into a baby...an actual human being is in my tummy. I will be a mummy.

For some time, neither of us didn't say anything. We just said down beside each other on the bed, with our feet barely grazing. Usually, at times like this when we just sat together without uttering words, what we had was comfortable silence- Silence which we both needed...but this time, the silence was anything but comfortable.

I was too worried about what was going through his mind to even know what to say or think. I was 21 and pregnant. I just kept quiet hoping he'll say something. Soon.

But then, after what like felt like almost an hour of complete silence, he spoke up and the first thing utters was, "I'm going out. I'll be back." I nodded, looking away from him, trying to hold the tears brimming in my eyes.

Once he shut the door behind him, I broke down in tears. I get that the news is a lot for someone to handle but call me dramatic or anything, I didn't want him to go out. I just wanted him to hold me and tell me we were gonna figure it out together like we always do. I mean, he has always been the more emotionally mature one, so you can understand why I was upset with his decision to leave the house.

When he came back later at night, he helped me make dinner after which he informed me that he had been to his father's and that he suggested that we got married.

"He did?"

"Yea."

"So..what did you say?"

"I told him I needed to talk to you."

"Oh."

"What do you think?"

"I...Do we do it just cause he said so or you are the one who wants to get married?"

"Hmm..I...I mean, marriage might be the best option considering you want to keep it."

"What do you mean "I" want to keep it?"

"You want to keep it, right?"

"I...Of course. Don't you?"

"Yea yea.. of course." He assured me and kissed my cheek. For a moment, I thought I saw a relieved smile but then his face turned serious again.

"Ok. Then let's get married."

"Ok. Marriage, it is," I muttered. Now, marriage to my boyfriend of four years wasn't exactly an unexciting thing. I mean, we love each other a lot but the circumstances in which we had to make the decision didn't make it feel exciting.  It felt forced and weird.