Do Us Part

59. "Home"

Chapter 59

Sam
(Playlist - "You" by benny blanco, Marshmello & Vance Joy)

I once read that for soldiers on the verge of fighting the biggest battle of their lives, nothing boosts their fighting efficiency more than one belief that keeps them going no matter how hard or tough it gets - and that belief is the thought of returning home.

Home: To different people, the word "home" means different things. It could be a four-walled structure, a heartwarming film, or even a valuable asset for some. If there is one thing that everyone has in common about home, it is that it is a thing or place where or with whom one feels safe.

Natalie always comes to mind when I think of what home means to me. Natalie has always been my home... She was the one who always kept me safe and gave me the strength I needed. I felt safest with her by my side.

For over 20 years, Jack has been my best friend, and he has always been there for me, both when things were going well and when they weren't. My family has always been my rock, but there was different about what being with Natalie gave me.

As a little boy, I'd always felt the need to be tough because of the tough love with which my father raised me. I must be brave, never revealing my flaws or being afraid. As I grew older, I became that way with everyone until I met her. With Natalie, there was warmth. There was freedom. There was liberation. There was home. Loving her was truly liberating and being with her felt absolutely magical each time.

She was my one true place. The place where I could truly be me and let my guard down. The place I didn't ever have to be tough.

She knew me, maybe a little more than I knew myself. At least that is how I felt. There was something about the way she stared at me...the way her eyes and her lips will spread in sync, as she held my gaze back in the day. The way she will hold on to my arms. The way she held my head against her chest while I wasn't feeling at my best and said, "I'm here".  The way she laughed heartily and happily danced and expressed herself. The way she could switch from cute to sexy in a matter of seconds. The way she was always so effortlessly beautiful. The way she gave me a nod of encouragement when those doubts start to creep in. The way our bodies always moved in sync while we swayed to a slow beat. The way her lips felt against mine and how she would giggle when I tease her but most of all, the best part was the way she listened whenever I felt I couldn't keep it in anymore.

When you tell people about your pain or what you've been through, they often feel obligated to make you feel better. Some even share their story, which they believe is worse than yours, just to make you feel better. While that is their pure goodness of heart shining through, it isn't always necessary. Natalie didn't feel sorry for me. She didn't make "light " of or try to "relate" to how I was feeling, even though she could have.

Instead, she gave me the one thing I truly desired: a hug. No words. No advice. Just a long, warm hug that made me feel alive.

It is said that when you truly and deeply love someone, you begin to see yourself in them, and this was the case with her. I liked the version of myself I saw with her. When I was with her, there was freedom and a true breath of fresh air.

As a result, when she left, I felt empty. Life had lost all of its colors I couldn't imagine living without her, so I asked my father's friend, Richardo, who was an ally, to find her.

When he found her, I knew what I had to do. I booked a one-way ticket to be with her until she decided to come home with me. So I packed my bags and was about to leave my house a few hours later when I learned that my father had collapsed. He was apparently leaving for work when he suddenly clutched his chest and collapsed. So, instead of going to the airport to catch my flight, I went to the hospital to see my father, but he was already gone. My father had also abandoned me without warning.

At my father's funeral, I waited. A part of me was so sure that she will come. "My home. My true place. My Natalie will come back for me. " I thought to myself severally but then, minutes turned to hours and hours turned to days, and it was time to fill in my father's shoes, and she never showed up.

So that's why I hated her, or tried to hate her, when she left me. I despised the fact that she knew me so well and still chose to abandon me, knowing how much I needed her, especially after my father's death.

I was quickly busier than I had ever been. After only two years of working there, it was terrifying to take over a multimillion-dollar company on my own. I'd never experienced such anguish and sorrow in my life. I despised everything, especially my father's abandonment of me when I was still so young. It was the most difficult time of my life, and despite every challenge life threw at me, the thought of Natalie lingered in my mind, making me resent her even more, or so I told myself.

However, seeing her walk up to my desk that morning, eleven years later, looking so beautiful and effortless, I realized I could never resent her. I adored her and may always do. I never resented her; I simply missed her. Very much so.

But things have changed recently. I want to despise her. For anything. For betraying me, leaving me, and abandoning our life together. For slamming divorce papers in my face one day, as if all those years together meant nothing. And now she's come to spy on me because she suspects I was involved in a man's death.

I mean, you would think that since she's known me for nearly two decades, she knows that I wouldn't have done such a thing but hey, people will always be people. Won't they?

I have loved her from the first time I laid my eyes on her and even right now, after learning of her betrayal, my heart only calls out to one name.

Now, home sounds like hell to me. I hate home.

THE END

Thank you for reading "Do Us Part". Hope you had as much fun reading it as I did writing it.

P.S. There will be a sequel and it will be available soon.