Adore S.M |Prequel to Devoted|

thirty-eight

|Eloise|

|1st January 2017|

|11:00am|

Sitting on my desk chair I stared out my dorm room window, watching the snow fall delicately from the sky and cover the already white pillowed ground. I had my legs tucked up to my chest as I cradled a hot cup of chamomile in both my hands, the exhaustion heavy in my eyes  and the numbness eradicating my body.

I had been sitting in this same spot since six o'clock this morning. As soon as I got home from the party last night I cried until I fell asleep and woke up so early just emotionally aching and feeling completely lost, confused and hurt. Heidi keeps checking up on me and bringing me a new cup of different flavoured tea every hour, she's stayed up with me and tried her best to comfort me but really what can you say to someone who feels like this? How can you comfort someone who can feel their heart physically aching and breaking apart? This feeling is so sickly and nausiating and I don't even know what I'm supposed to do now. I'm frozen.

Hearing the vibrations of my phone once again for what feels like fiftieth time just this morning, I glanced down to my phone screen, as it rested on the top of my desk, to see Shawn was trying to call me again. He had sent me so many texts throughout the night just constantly apologising and wouldn't stop trying to call me. 

I just couldn't face him. I couldn't understand how he could do this to me. There was nothing he could say that would make this all okay. 

"Do you want me to tell him to stop?" Heidi gently asked as I felt her come behind me and wrap her arms around my shoulders in a comforting hug.

"No" I mumbled, lightly shaking my head.

"It'll get better, okay? I promise" Heidi softly comforted as she rested her chin on the top of my head.

Holding my eyes shut I felt a lump form in my throat as I tipped my head back, feeling the tears begin to fall once again.

"I just don't get it" my voice cracked as I now felt the sobs begin to leave lips.

"I didn't think he could even do something like this to me"

Feeling Heidi's arms tighten around me she squeezed me tight as I continued to break down, the warm tears stinging my cheeks with every drop.

"I know, I don't think anyone did. He portrayed himself as this big nice guy. It's not your fault Eloise, he's just a stupid guy who doesn't know something good when he has it" Heidi sighed, still embracing me in her arms.

We remained in a silent embrace, apart from the sounds of my sniffling, for a few minutes until we were startled by the sound of a knock at the door.

Turning and looking up at Heidi she gave me the exact same look, we both were worried that it might be Shawn. Swallowing away the dryness in my throat I placed my mug of tea down onto the desk as the knock continued.

"Eloise, it's Liam! Please open door, I just want to make sure you're okay" I finally heard shouted from behind the door.

"Do you want me to tell him to leave?" Heidi asked, letting go of me.

"No, it's okay. Let him in" I replied, tiredly standing up from my chair.

Walking over to the door Heidi opened it, revealing a rather worried Liam as a look of sympathy and concern cascaded over his face. As soon as the door opened Liam immediately laid his eyes onto me before rushing over to me and engulfing me in a warm  and tight hug. Holding the back of my head with his hand he held me close to him as I let out, almost, a breath of release,