NEO GOT MY BACK

Chapter 9- Mark Has Lost His Mind

Chapter 9- Mark Has Lost His Mind

After his long and emotional talk with Jeno and Renjun, Donghyuck had just given up on the whole day and went to bed. With the investigation into the possible mole and Mark's kidnapping, everything was at a standstill at the agency. And after the nervous breakdown, he had after they rescued Mark, his older brother had barred him from doing anything related to his job. Donghyuck couldn't come back until he was cleared by the agency's therapist. (Donghyuck still has yet to see, but that's an issue for his future self to deal with.) So Donghyuck has been spending his time holed up in his room, with periodic visits from both his older brother and his annoying ass friends. (He really doesn't mean he loves his friends with all of his heart and thinks of them as his family, but he was in a bad mood and wanted to take it out on something, and sadly his friends were right there. (Yes, he knows he's being a dick, but he's not in the right state of mind to really deal with that at the moment, thank you.)) He knows he needs to leave his room and do something, but he can't. He can't really explain it, but every time he tries to leave his room, he can't get closer than to reach out and grab the knob to turn it. As soon as his hand contacts the knob, he just freezes. He can't explain it, but his heart starts to beat rapidly, his palms sweat, and it's like all of the air was sucked out of his lungs, and he can't catch a breath.

Now Donghyuck, in the back of his mind, knows that this is an issue. It's more than an issue; it's a problem, and a big one at that. But there's still that large stubborn part of him that refuses to admit that it is one. So he just huffs out a sigh when his heart rate finally returns to normal, and he can breathe again; he turns around and heads back to his room to go to bed. And that is where he will stay the majority of the rest of his day. And he's not even wasting the day playing video games or goofing off like he usually would. No, he just lies in bed all day and thinks about the night of the raid. He can't get the image of Mark's bloody and unconscious body out of his mind. Donghyuck firmly believes that he has never been as terrified of losing someone as he was that night. He knows that Mark is alive and well now. And he knows that his and Taeyong's parents died a far more gruesome death right in front of them as children. But the thing is that Taeyong remembers their parents, and Donghyuck doesn't. He has fuzzy memories of their mother holding him and their father laughing at a joke he made. But he doesn't remember them, nor does he remember their death. He remembers how dead Mark looked that night and how he was barely breathing. How limp and lifeless he looked being cradled in Lucas's arms.

The images kept flashing through his mind on repeat basically every hour of every day. It was maddening! It had gotten to the point that Donghyuck couldn't eat or sleep. He's terrified of going to sleep and having those awful memories plague his dreams. And he can't eat because he's too nauseous. He swears that he would think he was pregnant if he didn't know any better. But no, he's not pregnant; he's just really traumatized. And to make matters even worse for him, Mark hasn't been to see him at all!

At the same time, Donghyuck is pissed beyond belief about Mark not coming to see him, and he understands it. The last time they were alone in a room together did not end exactly well. And Donghyuck doesn't blame Mark for being upset with him and not wanting to see him after Donghyuck's minor meltdown. But he won't lie and say that it doesn't just wholly gut him that Mark chose not to see him. The guy who has been his best friend for over a decade, the guy that he's been in love with for like the past five years, not wanting to see him. It's just the perfect icing to add to the top of the cake to make Donghyuck's crappy month even crappier. And it's not like Mark even knows about his feelings or anything, but it still hurts.

Locked up in his room, Donghyuck is starting to think that he needs to heed his older brother's advice and just go see the shrink. But he just can't bring himself to go out and do it. He knows that he's in the wrong place, but Donghyuck just can't bring himself to do anything about it. Every time he tries to go, he just can't. He knows that part of why he refuses to go is that he's scared he'll be deemed crazy and taken off the team or fired. He wants to stay on the team. Donghyuck doesn't know what he'd do if he wasn't with NCT. SM has been his home for all of his life, where his family is.