Shadows of the Past

Part 27

(LOKI POV)
You open the door to Y/N’s room and step out of the way so she can come inside.  She walks in slowly, using her crutches and heads for her room.  You close the door and ask if she needs anything.

“Can you get me some water?” she asks.

“Coming right up,” you answer and head for the fridge.  You hear her close the door to her room, she had wanted to take the brace off for a bit and put on something more comfortable. 

At the infirmary, they fitted her for a brace and she traded the wheelchair for a set of crutches.  She seemed so tired from everything that had happened today but glad to be rid of the wheelchair.  You had offered to help her anyway you could and you were relieved when she actually took you up on it.  You had been worried she would try to do too much too quickly and possibly hurt herself. 

She comes out of her room wearing the sleeping pants you had conjured for her & a t-shirt.  You wait for her to sit on the couch first and then you help her swing her leg onto it.  Sitting in the middle of the couch, you carefully lifting her leg onto your lap.  She winces a little when you place a pillow under her knee.  “Are you ok?” you ask, worried you hurt her.

She nods, “I’m fine, just sore.”  She leans towards the coffee table for the remote but can’t quite reach it.  You smile at her then wave your hand and slide the remote towards her. “Don’t let anyone tell you that you aren’t useful, Mischief,” she giggles.

You can’t help but laugh a little, “I’m glad to hear all my years of training with magic have finally paid off.”

She turns on the TV and finds your favorite show.  You watch Y/N out of the corner of you eye and you occasionally catch her closing her eyes as if she is in pain.  “Are you sure you’re ok? Do you need any ice?” you ask her.

“I could probably use some but I don’t have any. I’ve been spending more time in your room than mine so I never filled the fridge or anything,” she answers with a shrug.

"I can go to my room and get some, it’ll just take a minute” you offer. 

“No, its ok,” she says, “We can make some later.”

“Are you sure?  If it hurts, you should ice it,” you tell her.

“I know, I just- I don’t want you to leave right now,” she says. 

“Y/N...” you start.

“I know, it’s stupid but... after everything that’s happened the last few days, I just feel better when your here,” she fidgets with her fingers while she talks.

“Y/N, its not stupid.  And I’m not going anywhere,” you reassure her.

She nods and smiles a bit but then she winces again.  You look down at your hand and then back at Y/N.  “I can help with your knee,” you suggest.

She looks at you questioningly, “How?”

You look back at your hand and take a deep breath as it slowly turns blue, starting at your finger tips and moving up until it reaches your wrist.  Thin lines begin to form on your skin, traveling up your hand and you can feel your heart beating faster.  You keep your eyes fixed on your hand, too nervous to see Y/N’s reaction. 

“Is that - that’s because your an ice giant?” she asks.

“Frost giant,” you say quietly and nod.

“Frost giant,” she corrects herself.

You sit quietly for a second and then slowly look at her and realize she’s smiling at you.    You sigh, letting go of the breath you had been holding.   

“Loki, did you think that would matter?” she asks in such a way that you almost feel silly for being worried. 

“I- I still haven’t fully accepted what I am so... so I just assume that no one else would either,” you tell her.  “My whole life I was taught frost giants were monsters and we needed to fear and hate them.  You thought I was a monster-” you start but she interrupts you.

“Loki, look at me,” she says.  “I was wrong when I thought that, you know that.  I was angry and I blamed you for things that weren’t your fault.  I want you to listen to me ok,” she reaches towards you and takes your blue hand in hers, rubbing her thumb up and down the ridges on the back of your hand. 

“I don’t care what you or anyone else says, you are not a monster,” she brings your hand to her lips and kisses the back of it.   

You smile at her, you can’t believe you found someone like her.  How she just accepted you so quickly and completely.  How was that even possible when you hadn’t even accepted yourself, you think. 

“Is it just your hand? Or does the rest of you turn blue too?” she asks curiously.

You laugh a little, “The rest of me turns blue too.”

“Can I see it?” she asks with a smile.

How could you say no to her.  You nod and close your eyes.  Slowly you let go of the illusion and your skin turns blue, the ridges start to form over your skin.  You can hear her gasp softly and you open your eyes.

She looks at you wide-eyed, “You’re- wow.” Is all she finally manages to say.

“Good wow or bad wow?” you ask cautiously.

She smiles and giggles a little, “Definitely good wow.”  You have no idea how to respond to that, it was not the reaction you were expecting.  You touches your cheek so you are looking right at her, “Your eyes are beautiful.”

You can’t help but smile, you had never been more comfortable in your own skin then you did at this moment.  You shift on the couch so you are laying on top of her, careful not to put any pressure on her leg and you kiss her softly.  She kisses you back, running her hand through your hair then holding the back of your neck.  You kiss her harder and she bites your lip then licks it softly.  When you finally pull away to catch your breath, she’s smiling up at you.  “You are amazing, you know that right?  I’m so lucky you’re mine,” you tell her as you kiss her nose and forehead before sitting back up. 

She giggles a bit, “Mmhmm, I know.  But it’s ok if you want to tell me all the time.”

“Noted,” you laugh as you start to put the illusion back up.

She puts her hand on your forearm, “You don’t have to do that.”

You think for a second, even when you are alone you never just spend time in your Jotun form.  You had never comfortable unless you were hidden behind your illusion. 

“Mischief?” she says to get your attention. 

You smile at her and keep the illusion down.  You make your hand a bit colder and place it gently on her knee, making sure you aren’t putting too much pressure on it.  You two slip into a comfortable silence and go back to watching the show but after about half an hour you notice her watching you and you ask her if she is ok.

“Yea, it’s just-” she pauses, “I think maybe it would be better if you rolled up my pants leg.  The dressing they put on is pretty thick so I’m not really feeling much.”

“Are you sure?” you ask, wanting to make sure she is comfortable.  You know how she feels about you or anyone seeing her scars.

“I’m sure,” she tells you.  You carefully roll up her pants leg, until it’s just higher than her knee.  You try not to stare and make her feel self conscious but you couldn’t help but look at the long scar that ran almost the length of her shin.  There were also several scars of various sizes and shapes, you assume from debris that had hit her. 

You place your hand back softly on her knee and make sure it feels ok.  “Much better,” she says with a smile, “Thanks Mischief”.