Shadows of the Past

Part 55

You wake up suddenly to the sound of Y/N screaming. You open your eyes, fully awake in an instant. Before you can say or do anything to try and calm her, she moves away from you and gets out of the bed. You sit up and turn the bedside lamp on as she sits against the wall. She brings her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them and putting her head down. You get up quickly and kneel on the floor in front of her.

“Y/N?” you ask quietly, slowly reaching out to touch her arm.

As soon as your fingers touch her, she flinches and pulls her knees tighter to her body. You take your hand back quickly, not wanting to upset her further. You can hear her sobbing softly and you wish you knew what to do to help her. She looked terrified and all you wanted to do was make her feel safe.

After a few minutes Y/N wipes her eyes with the back of her hand and looks up at you. “I’m sorry,” she mumbles.

You shake your head and attempt to touch her again. This time she doesn’t move away when you gently touch her arm. “Y/N, you have nothing to be sorry for,” you tell her.

She nods a bit and then looks down again, this time at her hands. She rubs her left wrist slowly where the thick purple and red bruise had been. She continues to rub her wrist, seemingly lost in thought, and as her hand rotates slightly she stops. Her attention shifting to the ring on her finger instead of the invisible bruise.

"Can you come here?” she asks and you move so you are sitting next to her against the wall. She puts her head on your shoulder and you rub her back with one hand, tucking her hair behind her ear with your other hand.

“Do you want to talk about it?” you ask and she shakes her head. You kiss the top of her head and she presses closer to you. She crosses her arms around herself and closes her eyes. You continue to hold her like that until she starts to fall asleep. You can hear her breathing slow and arms uncross, settling in her lap. You pick her up, careful not to wake her, and carry her back to the bed. After tucking her in on her side of the bed, you get in. She rolls onto her side, facing away from you so you put your arms around her and hug her tightly from behind. She moves back slightly, pressing her back against your chest and you can hear her sigh in her sleep. After kissing her cheek, you close your eyes and try to fall back asleep.

Roughly an hour later, you are awoken again by Y/N. This time she doesn’t scream, she lashes out in her sleep. Hitting you hard and crying as she tries to free herself from your arms. You let her go and she pushes herself away from you to the other side of the bed. Sitting up, you look over to turn the light on and when you look back at Y/N, she is sitting up against the headboard, as far from you as she can be.

She breaths deeply, trying to catch her breath and stop her tears. You get off the bed and come around to her side, sitting in front of her. You stroke her cheek softly as you tell her you are with her and she is safe. Y/N looks up at you and before she can say anything you shake your head and say, “Please don’t apologize again, love.”

Y/N closes her eyes for a moment and a few tears roll down her cheeks. When she opens them, you wipe her tears away for her. She looks up at you and you can see how hurt and scared she is.

“Talk to me,” you urge her but she shakes her head. “You were there for me when I had nightmares about Thanos and the Black Order. We were barely even friends when you gave me the strength to talk about what they did to me. Let me be here for you, Y/N, please.”

She doesn’t respond right away, but finally she nods slowly. “Ok,” she says quietly. She takes a deep breath and you hold her hand.

You sit silently as Y/N slowly opens up to you about what happened to her while Hydra held her captive. She takes her time, telling you about the lab and the experimental red serum. Y/N describes the pain she would feel from the serum and how Marc would smile at her when she tried not to scream. Your hatred of Marc grows, something you didn’t think was possible.