Shadows of the Past

Part 6

You are standing the common room, leaning against a wall towards the back.  Your arms are crossed tightly over your chest as you watch them together on the couch.  Thor, Steve and Bucky are sitting a small round table at one end, playing some sort of card game.  Clint and Nat are at the bar with Bruce and Tony.  All of the Avengers are there, relaxing, but you are focused on the two of them. 

Loki sits at the end of the couch, one of his arms around Sarah as they both read separate books.  No one seems to notice you except for Loki.  He slowly turns his head to look at you, a wicked grin starting to spread across his lips.  You try to say something, but you can’t make a sound or move. He sits up from his seat on the couch and the arm he had lovingly around Sarah moves up slowly until he has it wrapped tightly around her neck.

Sarah looks panicked, trying to fight back but none of the Avengers act.  You try again to yell, to make him stop but nothing comes out when you open your mouth.  His eyes are fixed on you and suddenly he appears right in front of you.

He reaches out towards you and grabs you by the throat.  He picks you up off the ground and pushes you hard into the wall.  Your hands desperately try to release you from his grip.  Your legs kick out uselessly, you can’t reach him.  He stares into your eyes, slowly moving closer to your face.  He smiles at you again as your vision starts to blur.

“Y/!”

The voice sounds far away.

“Y/N, open your eyes.  You’re ok.”

You are suddenly pulled awake, your whole body shaking.  You are covered in sweat, your heart racing.

“Y/N, it was just a nightmare. You’re safe, it’s ok.” the voice says again.

You nod slowly, trying to bring yourself back to reality.  You try and slow your breathing.  You sit up and look up at the person who has saved you from your nightmare. 

“What the hell are you doing here?” You ask, fear and anger still at the front of your emotions.

“I’m sorry, I heard you screaming from my room.  I just-” Loki backs away from your bed.

“Get out!” you scream. He turns and leaves quickly, as he opens the door he practically runs into Thor and Steve in the hall.

(LOKI POV)
“Loki what the heck is going on?” Steve demands, seeing you leave Y/N’s room.  They must have heard her screaming too.

“I- she was having a nightmare.  I just meant to wake her up...” you try to explain.  “She threw me out. I- I have a feeling it was about me,” you tell them, looking down. 

Steve says nothing to you as he lets himself into Y/N’s room, closing the door behind him.  You look at Thor, waiting for him to berate you for going into Y/N’s room. How could you possibly thought that would have ended well? 

“Are you ok?” he asked.  The question surprised you.

You shrug, not really sure how to answer him.  Your brother offers you a sympathetic look.  “You should get back to your room, we can talk about this in the morning,” Thor says.

You nod and head back to your room, closing the door you stand in the dark.  After a few minutes you turn the lights on and go to your small kitchenette. It’s 2 in the morning but you have lost your desire to sleep any more.  You start to make yourself some tea, at least you could continue the new book you had started. 

You sit in your arm chair but the window and try to focus on the words in front of you.  Normally reading was your favorite escape but that didn’t seem to be the case tonight.

You close the book, giving up on it for now.  Staring out the window, you think back to that day on the helicarrier.  You remember it vividly, you remember all of your time with Thanos as if it had just happened.  Y/N wasn’t the only one who had nightmares about your killing spree and attack on the city...