Shadows of the Past

Part 51

Warnings ::  General fighting - stabbing, guns, plane crash, fire, explosions, death

(LOKI POV)
You sit in the back of the jet with your eyes closed, you don’t want to sleep but you know you need to. It had been days since you slept longer than an hour or two and Thor was right, you would need all your strength when you arrived at the base. You cross your arms and lean back in the seat, willing yourself to control your thoughts. You desperately try to push back the feelings of fear and hopelessness and force yourself to focus on a memory of Y/N that brings you peace. 

(Four weeks ago)
You dragged yourself down the hallway towards your room, you were exhausted and your body ached. You had spent all morning training with Thor and Steve then the three of you were sent on what was supposed to be a quick mission. Things had taken longer than expected and when you returned, you were pulled into numerous debriefings and meetings. After the meetings, Thor requested your help with some research on a Hydra base in Germany that SHIELD had been keeping an eye on. By the time you were done it was almost one in the morning.

You open the door to your room quietly and close the door, not bothering to turn the lights on. After taking a quick shower, you stand in the doorway of the bathroom looking at Y/N. She’s curled up in your bed, wearing one of your shirts and laying on your pillow. You stand there for a few minutes, watching her sleep before you walk quietly over to the bed. You sit on the edge and gently push the hair from her face.

She smiles in her sleep and you lean down, kissing her cheek softly. When you lean back, Y/N is looking up at you, her eyes still half closed. “Hi,” she says sleepily. 

You smile back and stroke her cheek, “Hi. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Without saying a word, she slides over, back to her side of the bed and you climb in under the covers. You put your arms around her, pulling her back to your chest and she puts her hands over yours. She lays quietly in your arms and you know she is slipping quickly back to sleep. 

“I love you Loki,” she whispers and you smile as you close your eyes. You know there is no way you will ever get tired of hearing that. You pull her even closer to you and tell her you love her.

(Present)
You can feel your breathing slow as you focus on the smell of Y/N’s hair and how soft her skin is against yours. The voices that constantly fill you with fear that you will be too late to save her are replaced with the sound of Y/N’s voice whispering that she loves you. You try to hold onto this feeling as you drift off to sleep. 

You open your eyes and sit up suddenly, pulled from your sleep back to reality. 

“Sorry brother, we’re almost there,” Thor says as he stands over you. You can see the concern on his face but thankfully he doesn’t say anything more. 

You nod and try to catch your breath, your efforts to guide yourself into a calming dream about Y/N had failed. You don’t remember much of the nightmare but the feelings linger. You shake your head and try to clear your mind as you stand up. 

You follow Thor to the front of the jet. Bucky is standing between Nat & Steve who are in the pilot and co-pilot chairs. You look out the window through the clouds and ask how long until you arrive. “About fifteen minutes,” Steve responds. He turns to you, “Starks drones still haven’t picked up any activity in the area so we are assuming it will be clear to land in the parking lot of the hospital.”

You look down in silence but you look up when Bucky puts his metal hand on your back. “We're going to find her,” he says confidently.

You look at Bucky, then Steve, Nat and finally your brother. “Thank you,” you say to them in a low voice and they all nod and smile in return.