Secrets

46 | devon

six months later

I study the image on my lockscreen for a lingering moment, staring until the photo is ingrained in my mind.

I smile faintly at the picture of Hadley's luminous smile and sparkling blue eyes as I kiss her cheek. Even after all of this time, I haven't been able to bring myself to change the background.

It took weeks before Hadley finally stopped reaching out to me. Even after we first broke up, we stayed in touch with one another for a while. She would text me to express congratulations for a soccer game she saw my team won over Instagram. I'd ask about school every now and then. She admitted to me that she had kissed Sloane one drunken night at a party after we'd gone our separate ways, making sure to tell me that she absolutely felt nothing for her and the two really were just friends. I'm certain she'd only shared this information in hopes I'd take everything back and the two of us could be together once again, but I couldn't bring myself to do so.

I miss Hadley every day. I think of her often. Yet at the end of everything, I still feel as if I did the right thing by letting her go.

After all–if we're meant to be–I'm sure we'll meet again. When we're ready. Once time has given us the chance to grow and heal, I'm certain the universe will do its thing.

"Parker!"

I snap out of my thoughts at the sound of my name being called. It's one of my teammates, Becca, calling to me from the field. "You ready to play?"

I hop off of the bench I'd previously been occupying after lacing my cleats, sporting a wide grin. "Ready as I'll ever be."

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Audrey offers a smile as I wander into our dorm, the scent of the field lingering on my skin everywhere I go.

"Hey!" she chirps, tossing her notebooks aside as I settle into my half of our shared room. "You glad finals are finally over?"

I groan as I rest my head against my pillow. "Don't even mention finals please."

Although testing has been a pain in my ass lately, relief courses through my veins at the thought of having successfully completed my first full year of college. I took my last final yesterday. I'll be packing up and leaving this dorm before I know it.

I thought I'd be going home for the summer, but my mom recently surprised me by declaring she had decided to move out to California. I'd be in shock at first, but Mom's explanation had made sense. After all, she was alone without me in the house. There wasn't much left for her without me around. She was offered a job at a hospital relatively close to where I attend school, and she thought being near me would be the best option for the both of us. After all, I'm attending Stanford on scholarship. It'd be difficult to go back home and attend the summer soccer workouts, which are vital to maintaining my place at this school.

Sadness does fill me at the thought of no longer having a home on the east coast. Technically, Mom still owns my childhood home. She's just renting it out while we're not living there. I think both of us know that's home, and California is really just temporary. But it still sucks to know that everything I'm used to is no longer attainable to me. I won't be going to my hometown over the summer. I won't be able to see my old friends. I'll miss out on the chance to spend one last summer with all of my old friends during the last year they'll all be in the same place.

Although, I suppose I'm not missing out on much. After breaking up with Hadley, I mostly fell out of touch with my old friends as well. Mason made it very clear from the moment she heard the news that she didn't agree with my decision. I hadn't been surprised–Hadley and Mason have become nearly inseparable over the last year. I've kept in touch with Clover, though I doubt we'll ever be as close as we once were. Even Kai and I rarely speak nowadays, which hurts to admit. It's hard, trying to remain in someone's life when there is so much distance between you. I often find myself thinking of the dreams Kai and I had, wondering if he'll still get around to applying to Stanford and attending university with me–just like we had talked about doing as kids.

I've grown close with my soccer teammates however, and a few people from my classes. Of course I have Audrey. We're planning to stay roommates the following school year. But I do miss what I once had; the tight-knit circle I had to rely on back home.

Yet I know in the end, everything will turn out okay. I believe in hope. Even fate. Everyone has to grow up at some point; everyone has to let go of the past and create a future for themself by paving their own path in life.

What's meant to be will be, and the single thought is what keeps me going.

———
a/n: i hate endings omg 😭