Secrets

1 | hadley

"I didn't know she was going to show up!"

"Then what was she doing here, Hadley?"

"I'm telling you–I have no idea!" I throw my hands into the air out of exasperation, further proving my own confusion. "Devon, I didn't invite her. I never even thought I would see her again. I don't know what she was doing here, or why she's back, or–I just–I don't know, okay?"

Devon stares at me unblinkingly from across the room, arms crossed over her chest. Tension rests in her shoulders, her features taut. I can sense her discomfort, even from feet away.

I hadn't been expecting Sloane to show up on my doorstep when I woke up this morning. Today I turned eighteen, and all that was supposed to take place was a small party thrown at my house with my friends and family to celebrate the special day and the start of summer vacation.

Instead, my ex had shown up at my house–an ex of mine I never thought I would see again. Sloane moved away last summer, and I haven't heard from her since. Needless to say, her reappearance in my life has caused quite a storm of chaos.

As of now, the party has long since been over. Nothing felt right after Sloane made her shocking appearance. At least, not to me. I think everyone could tell I was off after answering the door to find my long lost ex-girlfriend standing on my porch step. My friends ate cake with my family and I, then left shortly afterwards. And now here I am, holed up in my room, arguing with my girlfriend over a situation entirely out of my control.

This will certainly be a birthday I will never forget. However, I wish it had been made unforgettable for other reasons.

"Well, what are you gonna do?" Devon questions, the words leaving her lips in the form of a rushed and defeated sigh.

I study my girlfriend wearily. I've never seen her like this before–so annoyed and upset with me. Insecure and frightened. I didn't realize the appearance of Sloane could get under her skin so badly. I guess I can't blame her, as I don't know how I would react if our roles were reversed in the situation at hand.

"Nothing?" I'm unsure why the statement rolls off of my tongue like a question. "I mean what is there to do?"

Devon stares me down skeptically. "The ex you never even ended things with shows up at your house on your birthday and announces she's moved back to town–living across the street from you, for that matter–and you're not going to do anything?"

"What do you want me to do, Dev?" I ask bitterly. I don't mean for my tone to come off so accusatory, yet I can't control my emotions at the moment. Sloane is back and she is living across from me and I never even got to tell her bye but now she is back. She's back, she's back, she's back.

But I have a girlfriend now–an amazing, wonderful girlfriend I don't want to lose.

And Sloane. is. back.

"Whatever you want to do," Devon mutters weakly. I recognize the gleam shining in her dark irises. She's scared. Of what, I'm not entirely sure. Scared to lose me maybe, now that Sloane is back.

I can't lose her.

I cross over to the side of my room where Devon sits atop my bed, joining her side and taking her hands in mine. I ache to fill her with reassurance; I need to make sure she knows exactly how important she is to me. There is nothing in this world worth losing Devon over. She is everything I have ever wanted and more. My very own wish upon a star, my living dream come true.

I need her to know that.

"What I want"–I start slowly, holding Devon's stare intently–"is to enjoy summer vacation with my girlfriend and our friends before the start of senior year. I want you. I want you, Devon."

Devon's expression softens as she eyes me, the hint of a smile forming across her lips. I caress her cheek lovingly, tilting my face toward hers until the tips of our noses touch, foreheads resting against one another.

"I want you," I whisper against her lips before kissing her, soft and slow.

I mean the words. I really do. Devon is the one decision I have always been certain of–there is no doubt about her in my mind.

And yet I can't stop myself from thinking that Sloane is back, and I have no idea what that might mean.

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a/n: HI I MISSED YOU ALL SO MUCH <3