Secrets

12 | devon

"Isn't it crazy?" Hadley asks softly into the crook of my neck, nuzzling her face into my skin as she draws in closer to me. I run my hand over her arm as she lays on my chest, the two of us sprawled out in my bed as the sun sinks down below the horizon from the view of the window.

"What is?" I ask. I shift my arm beneath her body so that I can look down into those ocean blue eyes of hers that never fail to turn me into a mess of butterflies and weak knees.

"We're going to be seniors," Hadley murmurs. "It's already July. One month of freedom left before our last year of high school begins."

I stiffen slightly, trying not to give away my discomfort whilst failing miserably at doing so. Hadley rests her weight atop her elbows and sits up slightly, studying me closely. I can tell she's trying to read my expression, though I keep what I'm thinking carefully hidden from sight.

"Yeah," I mumble. "Time is flying." I don't let on just how quickly time truly is slipping by. I don't want to think of what little time I have left with Hadley; I can't focus on the fact that I'll soon be leaving her.

Hadley tilts her head to the side, blond hair cascading effortlessly over her shoulder as she does so. Her eyes are puzzled, no doubt wondering what's up with my odd behavior.

I wish I could tell her the truth without hurting her.

"What's wrong?" Hadley asks tentatively. She frowns as she peers down at me.

I'm quick to offer an aloof smile, though I know the gesture doesn't quite reach my eyes. "Nothing! I was just agreeing with you."

"No, tell me." I can tell Hadley isn't meaning to pry. She just wants to know what's bothering me. I deny that I've been distant every time she mentions the subject, though we both know I can't lie to her.

"Is it Sloane?" she questions in a faint whisper. "Devon, I–"

I interrupt her by shaking my head. "I don't want to talk about that, Hadley."

It kills me to realize she thinks the way I'm acting is her fault. Does she really believe I've been avoiding her because of something she can't control? Does she really think my behavior is due to her ex's return? I should just tell her the truth, so she doesn't have to keep carrying around unnecessary guilt . . .

"I didn't mean it like that, Hads," I rush to explain, "That's not what's bothering me."

"Then what is?" Hadley asks weakly. "And don't lie. You can talk to me, you know."

"I know," I say gently. "It's nothing . . . I just don't want to talk about any of it, Hads. Sloane, school . . . All I want is to be here with you, right now."

Hadley doesn't appear satisfied with my answer. She frowns before returning her head to the crook of my neck, wordlessly closing her eyes and curling up next to me. We lay together in silence, merely absorbing each other's company.