You're standing here infront of the door of our Review shop then you might as well come in. If you have stumbled up on this shop means it's destiny. You can't go back right now without coming in first. That's the rule of Our nightshade Review shop...
Before starting, I have NOT mentioned FanFic in my preference list because I have no ideas about Kdramas or Kpop. This book is about BTS and I have no idea about them so I'll be reviewing this book just in my way without considering it as a FanFic.
▹ COVER - 2/5
I don't see a ghost? The title is 'Love with a ghost' but I see no ghost or love.
▹ TITLE- 1/5
The title isn't unique as there are a lot of stories on Wattpad that have ghost love stories and yours is just one of them. In the title, you are supposed to attract people by showing the readers what's different from the rest of the books.
▹ BLURB - 1.5/5
The blurb has mistakes.
You have used the first person's point of view to write the blurb which is wrong according to this book. When you write in first person POV the entire book should go with the same POV, but here you change POV in between and generally you always write in the third person's POV and should be in the present tense.
"Who loved me than his life"
This sentence makes no sense, I would suggest, "Who loved me 'more' than his life."
"What happened me at that night?"
Again the sentence doesn't make any sense, it should be "What happened to me that night?"
You have missed important words in the sentence which makes a huge difference, so please change the whole blurb and start afresh.
▹ THE FIRST CHAPTER - 2.5/ 5
The chapter starts with:
"mom I'm going bye"
"Okay sweetie come back safe".
I don't understand what is happening here. You haven't mentioned anything about the background, the moods, nothing. I can just presume that someone is going out, where, how, and when, I don't know as a reader.
The second line says, "she was so sweet and she has a honey-like voice."
The sentence is grammatically incorrect and secondly who are you talking about?
In the second line, you have mentioned the person's name but haven't mentioned who the person is and what their role is.
After the first intro, you started introducing the father so I suppose the first person you introduced is the mother, okay but now you haven't mentioned the father's name.
After that, we see the girl who is expected to be y/n by the POV going to school and she accidentally spoilt the uniform of the HOTTEST GUY in the school. Here you haven't explained the scenario, anything! It's like you, the author, are in a rush to finish this book.
We see Y/n enjoying all the attention from the boys in her class and say what? She is in a secret relationship with Jungkook. Here again, you haven't described his character.
Not going to lie but you somehow have managed to get an okay-ish ending to the first chapter. So congratulations.
▹ THE PACING OF THE STORY - 3/10
It's disappointing, as I have mentioned above you are just trying to finish the chapters in a hurry. You aren't mentioning any details or emotion, nothing.
▹ PLOT - 12/20
The book has a beautiful plot, a girl who met with an accident and the love of her life who is ready to do anything to get her back.
You have a good plot and if the story was implemented well, then this book would have been a masterpiece.
▹ WRITING STYLE - 10.5/20
Your writing style needs a lot of improvement. Please read as many books as you can. The more you read, the more you'll be able to improve your writing, and the more you'll enjoy writing. So please don't stop reading. You are young, I can see that by your writing style, you have a long way to go.
▹ GRAMMAR AND VOCABULARY - 2/10
Firstly, you didn't make proper use of full stops. When you use full stops (.) you are supposed to leave space before starting to write another word.
Secondly, the past tense of the word 'drive' is 'drove' and not 'draw.' For example, you wrote, "He starts the car and speedily draw to the hospital." No, it's drove.
I also see that you've been switching tenses, I even saw you switching tenses in just one paragraph. Please make sure you don't do that.
Lastly, there are many spelling mistakes as well so please edit your book, and try using Google Docs.
▹ CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT - 2/10
Again, I didn't see any developments as you were in a rush to finish the book, and the characters haven't shown any feelings or development, The story is more about telling instead of showing.
I won't be talking about readers' enjoyment.
Your book needs a lot of improvement and brushing. Remember, you have a beautiful plot but for that, you need to read more books to understand where you are going wrong.
