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It’s sort of interesting. If I was randomly cruising through Wattpad, it would’ve been a 50/50 whether I stopped at the book or not.
It sort of made sense, if you plan on having the book centered on the house and its people but it seems like that won’t be your plan of action. Maybe have something related to Nevahe’s Empaths because it’s most likely going to be about them. Or it could’ve been ‘House of Fenmore:___’ kind of like Percy Jackson. It’s the series name but also tells us what the book is about because surely you aren’t going to be naming them with numbers to change up the names.
◖﹒SYNOPSIS - 3/10
It’s okay but I didn't like it too much though, it was too vague. Vagueness is good, but you were being too vague.
I would've liked to see more about the clans or maybe known that House of Fenmore meant house of Dragon. So,I think you can work on incorporating more of what really happens in the book into your synopsis.
◖﹒PLOT - 7/30
You had a nice beginning to your plot, and I can’t say much else because your story was only three chapters long.
You could also work on your pacing because it felt kind of fast. First, Niran found Phelix at five, suddenly he turned 10, and then suddenly he met Lilian.
Maybe have some time go between major events so it doesn’t feel rushed.
◖﹒CHARACTERS | 8/15
I can’t say much about the character either. Not much was revealed about them since it was just three chapters. There wasn’t any development and we couldn't have gotten a rounded character in three chapters either. It takes time for them to develop flaws and such. But I'm sure they’ll turn out to be wonderful characters.
◖﹒GRAMMAR - 20/20
It was gorgeous, what else could I say?
◖﹒WRITING STYLE - 15/15
You have a very nice way of making a tone. I also like how you describe things. It’s beautiful and I love the way you write. Your pacing could use a little work though.
