The Hermitcraft Plays

16: Treetho

Oli's jaunty piano kicked off the second attempt of the 4 Dumb men's song. Impulse immediately began improvising a dance, bouncing from foot to foot and jazzhandsing. Skizz burst out laughing at his dad dancing, joining in as best as he could until Impulse darted to the front of the stage to sing.

'If you wanna be brave without measure! If you want survive without a scrape!' Impulse sung, with remarkable talent and confidence.

'If you wanna get the treasure, with the pleasure of escape.' Skizz joined him there, an arm on his shoulder.

If you wanna face fearification, If you wanna flee with extra flee!' Tango giggled as he sang.

'If you wanna rise above your station, then you're gotta listen to me!' Zedaph completed the 4 at the front of the stage.

'There's just 1 thing you should do.' The 4 sang and stepped in time to the front of the stage.  'One mantra to listen to.'

'Loot and scoot! loot and scoot!' at the mention of his favourite Decked Out card, Etho gasped, clearing beaming beneath his mask.

'Crush all your enemies under your boot!' Skizz stepped in front of the others as he sung.

'Cash n' Dash!' Tango poked his head above Skizz's shoulder.

'Greed n' speed!' Impulse followed suit the other side.

'Acting rash, helps you succeed!' Zedaph  climbed onto their shoulders to see above Skizz's head, as they'd been practicing.

So you've gotta loot and scoot!' All 4 jazz handed before climbing down from their positions. By this point, Gem and Cub had been forced back onstage, joined by a confused Keralis taking Scar's place. Martyn yelled something about teaching them about Skadoodle in mime.

'When the danger's unending, and you can't beat the odds,' Skizz sung, an arm around Gem's shoulder.

'Like you're fishing for mending. And you got 2000 cods.' Impulse, unsure how to mime teaching something he had no clue about himself, just grinned awkwardly and handed Keralis a raw cod.

'He'll make sure you're respected. Bring your life under control!' Tango had more luck, forcing Cub to run back and forth across the stage.

'He'll keep you safe and protected...' All four turned to the audience. 'Like when he allied with Joel!'

'Wait- oh my gosh- this is- yes. YES!' Joel replied, glancing at Etho, who was just boogieing behind everyone without a care in the world.

'Loot and scoot!' Zedaph jumped onto Tango's shoulders.

'Loot and scoot!' Impulse, following suit, tried to jump onto Skizz's. And, due mostly to Skizz's grip rather than his own talent, Impulse stayed on.

'With all the fury of a piglin brute!'

'plunder n' run!'

'Nick and be quick!' At the particularly tenuous rythmn, Tango fell out of time. Oli stumbled over the chords, yelling something that was either annoyance or advice.

'It's the one thing that's gotta stick!' Impulse recovered them quickly with before he could get upset.

'So you've gotta loot and scoot!' they all sung, back in time again for the middle eight.

'From the canopy above!' Tango began, creeping across the stage towards Keralis.
'To the deep dark down below!'

'He's the god of trees you love, and the god of trees you know!' Zedaph, unable to do much when on Tango's shoulders, just attempted to stand up, failed, and returned to his safer position lower down.

'When your plans have turned to rubble, and you don't know who to blame!' Skizz put an arm around Cub's shoulder, letting Impulse slip easily off.

'If you're trapped or you're in trouble, you just call the name...' Impulse sung, and then held the final note as Etho scrambled towards the stage for his entry. Skizz grabbed some sticks from his inventory and started a drumroll. Tango and Zedaph joined in, calling the audience to do the same as Etho prepared for his entrance. A thumbs up through the curtain.

'Treethooooooo!'

As his name was called, Etho burst through the wings, adorned with sticks and leaves.

'LOOT N' SCOOT!' He yelled, for lack of anything better. 

'...loot and scoot!'

'Bang your drums and play your flute!' The rest of the dumb Men continued with the chorus, dancing around him. Cub joined him, dragging Gem and Keralis after.

'Nab like Treetho Slab! Gotta grab like Treetho!' Cub improvised. Oli whooped loudly at the celebration, turning the tune to a loop, jumping to his feet, and starting to dance. Impulse whispered something to Skizz and they sprinted offstage, returning after a few seconds with marching-band snare drums and proper drumsticks, adding remarkably complicated drumming. The idea of an ending was ignored completely. Grian, enjoying the show too much to let him miss out, shook Scar awake, who stared at the stage as if he was still dreaming.

'Join in!'

'Wait- what- the- Darth Grian, I don't know the dance!'

'Here! Just- just Improvise!' Cub, out of breath, called Scar over. 'It's fun!'

'Are you sure?!'

'Absolutely! Just, copy me. Nab like Treetho slab gonna grab like Treetho!'

'Nab like Treetho Slab gonna grab-grab Treetho!' Scar replied, trying to make his walk over funky. 'Nab like Treetho Slab! Grab like Tree-ee-thooo!'

'Woo!' Cub helped Scar onstage. Oli had returned to his piano, riffing magnificently. Impulse and Skizz were having the time of their lives on drums. Tango was sprinting back and forth across the stage, with Zedaph clinging to his back. Treetho was showing off what he clearly considered to be a dance. Gem was the only one attempting the choreography Martyn was making up. Keralis started making the cod Impulse had given him 'dance', flapping it about in the air. It was enough to convince xB, the rest of the narrators and Wels, onstage where they started doing the Macarena. Cub and Scar were making each other laugh with crazy dance moves.

'Ohhhh you gotta loot!' The improvisation came to a stop as Oli brought them towards the ending. Impulse and Skizz drummed a short solo.

'You gotta scoot!' Another solo, even faster and more exciting.

'If you want to beat King Reeeeennnn!' Imp and Skizz drummed as fast and impressively as they could. Or, as Tango yelled out: 'The drumming drums with unparalleled drumification!' Treetho hurried to the front of the stage for his last line.

'You've just gotta loot and scoot!'

The song ended. Scar was laughing, out of breath, an arm around the equally exhausted Cub. Skizz hugged Impulse, beaming. Zedaph climbed down off Tango's back and they high-fived. Oli was shouting about them achieving a wonderful, wonderful level of groove. Joel was professing his love for Etho at the top of his lungs. Martyn sat next to Joe, panting from his attempt to invent choreography.

'How was that for a song?' Joe glanced over, clearly in shock.

'I think we're gonna smash this.'