Dream SMP Oneshots

How Many Lies is My Life Worth?🤕-Alyssa & Ponk

AN: So this one isn't really a ship fic? Sorta? I'm not really sure. Past Awesamponk, and hints of Lapis Duo (Foolish x Ponk) with some quality, much needed, Alyssa and Ponk friendship time. I had a lot of fun writing this! Hope you enjoy it, have an amazing day! Let me know if you would like me to write the Lapis Duo date! Also I drew this fanart up above of 'Lyss and Ponk :) ALSO Ponk is using all pronouns in this. It's his character's preferred so... yee.

TW: Mentions of past abuse, prosthetic limb

Ponk's POV

Ponk didn't have a lot of friends left in his life. He had Antfrost, and quite frankly that was about it. Foolish and his sort of died out, Bad's still a bit off the rails, and she doesn't have enough energy to go find new ones. The effort to solely communicate with mutuals was becoming too much for him now, every time he just wished he could run away. Run all the way through the nether and ignore the burning rubber smell of their sneakers as they fled to somewhere, anywhere, but this forsaken server. Run away to be finally able to sit down, take a deep breath, and say 'good job. Take a rest.'. Someone once had that idea, and he blames her for leaking it into his thick skull ever since. Alyssa was one of his best friends. She was also his smartest friend, by far. When she offered Ponk the opportunity to run away with her, they declined, he said it was a risk not worth taking, and that he was happy. Now he's sitting at his counter honestly hoping she would come back and offer one more time- because this time he would say yes without any hesitation. They've been sitting at his counter on a wooden stool for the last twenty-five minutes, staring at his communicator as his hot chocolate began to run cold.

ItsAlyssa whispers to you: Hi, wanna meet up? I'm in town.

Ponk didn't know what to say, how to reply.

Yes, she did want to meet up, but a lot has changed since he last saw Alyssa. For example, she lost an arm. He also lost a large part of what he thought of themself. Would he really be able to handle facing her again, even after all the shit that has happened.

What did I miss?

A fucking hell of a lot, 'Lyss. He sighed and pried his dry eyes away from the message to take a swig of his hot cocoa. It burned the roof of his mouth a bit, causing him to put the cup down and sputter a little. His mouth had always been overly sensitive to heat. They coughed a bit and rubbed their tongue over the roof of his mouth, wincing very slightly. In his personal opinion, burning one's mouth is the spawn of satan. He picked up his transmitter to reply, staring at it for a while before letting out a loud groan, setting the device down, and placing his head on his crossed arms against the countertop. The cool granite tickled her nose as he felt his spine shift with each breath. He breathed through his mask, it sucking in slightly with each breath. He opted to just take a face mask, not the full ski mask, when she was alone or with people he was comfortable with- like Callahan. He let out another long, dragged out, probably over dramatic, groan. It died off a whine.

"For fucks sake, Alyssa is my friend! Of course I want to see her- Why can't I just say yes- why-" He let out an exasperated whinge as he battled in his own mind. They knew the real reason he was so scared to say yes, he just hated to admit it. They wouldn't be able to bare her standing in front of him, arms crossed, looking down on him, having waited her whole life to be able to look him dead in the eyes and say;

I told you to come with me.

He bit his tongue and scrunched his eyes, a sudden wave of sorrow and bile coming up his throat, warmth pricking his eyes. And the worst part? She could feel it swishing in his gut, the reality in those words- the fact that she was right. He shuddered slightly as he sucked in a deep breath and looked up, vision blurry until he blinked away the wetness. He sighed and picked up his transmitter for the last time today. It wasn't like him to not rush into things headfirst, so what's making him so scared now? Nothing that's worth mumbling over, that's for sure.