Stupid Love

17

Her eyes sparkle, my breath slows and my heart is racing. Waiting for a response my fear and anxiety take over.

"I love you too." Joey says, as she kisses me again.

Her lips tasted like cherry, the world slowed and everything was like a background of what was happening. Not a care in the world for anything besides her.

"But I can't." She whispers.

My high comes crashing down. It feels like my insides just exploded, I felt nauseous. My breath was really taken away. The world around me feels like it's falling apart.

"W-w-why," I responded with a slight crack in my tone of voice. My hands begin to shake and my body goes numb and cold. I'm fighting the urge to cry.

"Now is just not the time to be doing anything with anyone." She replied.

"I-i-'ll wait for you, I'll give you all the time in the worl-" I say before getting cut off.

"No Corbin, I just don't know." She says while pulling out her phone.

I couldn't move, even if I wanted to. The state of shock took over and not to mention the machines the hospital put in me.

"I hope we can still be friends though." Joey says, still looking down at her phone. She smiles at a video from a guy. "I knew it was too good to be true." I thought to myself.

I rip off the machines attached to me and get off my bed, Joey now just standing next to it. I stumble to get out of the room.

"Good talk," She says with a hint of attitude

"Good talk? When was any of that a good fucking talk." I mutter while leaving the room.

My heart feels as if it was shattered into a million pieces. Do I even tell her what I've done for her? What's the point, she literally told me she loved me and then completely threw me off the cliff. Words couldn't describe what I felt as I walked down the frigid cold and long hospital hallway. I look over into a window as I walk down the hallway to see a nursery. I saw a woman and a man look at each other and then to a baby. I assumed they were a family. It didn't help my pain at all because all I could see was me and Joey having that. A tear grows and falls from my eye onto my cheek. The wet cold tear left a burning sensation. "I talked so highly of her. She gave me hope." I thought to myself. I look back towards the end of the hallway and see another room with the door open, I walk towards it and see that it was Mia and Maddi talking with each other.

"Hey," Maddi says to me with her smile of a million words.

I nod my head at her and move my lips to a forced smile. I quickly wiped the tear off my face when it was too late.

"Why are you crying?" Kelly said to me.

"I lost the person I wasn't supposed to lose. It was my fault." I responded.

"What'd you do?" Maddi asked, her smile now faded to a concerned look.

I look away towards the window. It was raining, very fitting for the situation. The rain hit the window like a bug and slowly fell to the bottom of the window where it would just disappear. It felt as if I was watching my heart. I look away from the window and down at the tile floor.

"I wasn't good enough to keep her around," I responded.

"Why would she say that? You're the best guy I've ever met. Is she stupid? She doesn't deserve you anyways." Maddi responds.

I sigh, " She didn't, She deserves me. She deserves the world. If I was good enough then why can't she let me be hers?" I said.

"What do you mean by that?" Kelly asks.

"I told her I loved her, she said she loved me too. I felt like I just won the lottery. I was gonna do everything and anything for her like I did before but on a whole new level but she said she cant. Then when I asked she just brushed me off, She never gave me a fucking reason. I don't know anymore. I want to give up on love." I told them both, my eyes were all over the place.

"Just wait for her, she'll come around." Mia says with a smile.

"Waiting in life when the opportunity is right there is the dumbest thing a person can do. Life is too short to wait. I almost died or was never seen again in an instant and everyone wants to tell me that waiting is the answer?" I replied in a frenzy. I became too annoyed and walked out the room. I just wanted to run away from everything. Everything hurted until I heard

"Hey, are you okay?" Joey says.

I turned around in a flash, hoping and praying on the inside that she changed her mind. She was on her phone. My heart went back to the bottomless pit. I saw her smiling and laughing like she used to do for me. That hurted me more than my dad could ever, more than getting picked on in high school, more than watching my friends blame me for all of their problems. I feel mesh and the thought of "Wow you escaped one who didn't want you to go. You could always go back to her." I considered it. What could go wrong?