Stupid Love

31

The cold air hits my lungs before my face. A sharp pain runs through my body like a lightning bolt as I wake up in what feels like a dream.

I look around to see everyone I know and love standing around me, like a cult meeting.

"You could never be good enough," my dad says to me.

I look at him confused and angry.

" You sit there acting like we care about you. We don't" Maddi tells me.

I look at her when she says it. I close my eyes " This is just a dream." I thought to myself.

"Corbin, please listen to me when I say this. You can not keep up with your false sense of confidence." Abby says.

I keep my eyes shut as the voices get louder.

"Corbin, we've never actually loved you. We found you amusing for awhile. Now it's just pathetic." Mia says

I try to cancel out the noise by humming, it fails to stop it.

"Corbin, why couldn't you have been better? Why do you think everyone in your life leaves you eventually?" My mom says.

That one hurt a little more. It made me, angry. I've only met my Mom once.

"Corbin, Corbin, I don't actually have feelings for you. I'd rather give you that false impression of hope, you love me too much and it's fun to watch you fall into the deep depression." Joey says.

" I'm sorry, but you aren't going to be valuable to anyone." Katie says.

I finally snap out of it. I woke up and realized I was just standing in the middle of the ice rink. I look around and see no one else besides the strength and conditioning coach setting up the rink.

I shake my head. " that's a first," I thought to myself.

"Alright Corbin, you're gonna do figure 8s around the left side," the coach says as he points to my left.

"then you're going to have to shoot the puck sideways into the net. if you miss you recover it and go onto the right side and send it back to your own end." He says.

I look back to my defensive zone.

"Then you'll stick handle it as fast as you can back to the left side. When I feel like you're good enough we'll switch sides." He says, he throws down the puck and blows his whistle.

I begin to skate around the figure eights, I always hated them. You have to keep yourself upright and bend your blade to a 20 degree or lower angle. (that's just how i was taught)

I used my hips and bent around the little orange cones he placed down, going as fast as I can, it's a blur when you get used to them.

I come around the corner and shoot the puck, it hits the crossbar and bounces towards the right side. I begin to slow down and skate around the net to recover the puck when the coach yells, "Faster Corbin! This isn't little league anymore!"

I recovered the puck and about 15 seconds I was down at the other end of the rink, I slowed down to catch my breath for a split second before going as fast as I could.

"15 mph isn't gonna cut it Corbin!" The coach yells.

"neither is doing this on a bad ACL" I thought to myself.

Back and forth my wrists go, as I maintain the puck within my stick. I quickly do the figure eights again. As I get closer towards where I need to shoot I speed up. Needing all the momentum I can get, I snap my wrists as I shoot the puck and it goes up and hits the back of the net like a rocket.

I stop. " Not bad kid." Coach yells, I look over at him, playing at sea level definitely helps. Playing in Colorado and practicing in Wyoming really does make playing at Sea level a breeze.

" Would you like to know your fastest speed?" Coach asks.

I shrug my shoulders, " I don't really care about that, I just wanna get healthier." I say,

As the Coach was about to say something I hear "Corbin!"

I turn and see it's the head coach, he looks annoyed in his suit and tie.

" My office,now!" He screams.

I roll my eyes and give a quick "thanks"jester to the strength coach before skating away. I reach the doorway and open it as I step onto the concrete. I take my skates off and hold them as I follow the head coach towards his office.

We reach it, after what feels like forever. I started to get a little worried, but didn't even know what I did wrong, which is iconic since I never mean bad intentions, but I never really realized that it still upset people.

I walk into his office and sat down. My feet and knees burned like an inferno.

He sits down in his chair and looks at me.

"You know why I brought you in here?" He asks.

I shake my head no.

" Listen Corbin, this is never easy." He says.

I begin to realize I wasn't going to make the team.

" You've progressed really well but after watching you, and how you handle yourself. I just don't believe it's best for the team that you stay here." He says.

I remain silent.

"Thank you for your time but we're gonna have to release you." He says.

I nod my head. Not wanting to say a word. "Thank you for your time with me then." I reply.

"You never know, maybe sometime down the road we can bring you back." He says.

"I'm good, I'm not trying to get let down again." I reply as I stand up and leave the office.