Officer Evans 💙

Chapter 15

"Stop fussing over me, I can walk." Kara brushed Elisa off her as they entered her house after being released from the hospital. "If I'm to return to work on Monday, I need to be able to do stuff for myself."

"Monday? That's only a week. You need more than a week before you go back to work."

Kara yanked her arm away from her sister, "no I don't. I've recovered from worse."

"When?!"

Kara groaned, avoiding looking at her sister as she went into her room, "never mind."

"Why do you do that?" Elisa leaned on the doorframe of her room as she watched her sit on the edge of the bed.

"Do what?!"

"Shut me out! You never let me in to how you're feeling or what you're thinking. Ever since.."

Kara scoffed, "ever since you slept with my boyfriend and then had his child? I'm sorry if I have trouble trusting you. Besides, don't you think I don't tell you everything to protect you? You have the perfect life, a perfect son, a good job. A good relationship with his father. You don't need my demons weighing you down."

Elisa groaned, sitting beside her, "you can talk to me. And I thought you had forgiven me."

Kara shrugged, "I have to a certain extent. But there's a part of me that never can. And now with Chris, it's just stirred up all those feelings again." She sighed, grabbing her sister's hand, "I'm sorry."

"I know. It's okay." Elisa stood up from the bed, "I'll give you some time to yourself."

Once Kara was undressed, she wrapped a bag around her cast on her left arm before taking a long hot shower. When she finished, she inspected herself in the mirror for a few minutes, barely recognizing herself. The left side of her face was bruised, stitches lined neatly on the left side of her forehead where it hit the floor at the bottom of the stairs. After locking herself in her room and getting dressed in an oversized t-shirt and panties, she sat on the edge of the bed with the small box that she kept her razor she used when she cut herself. She stared at it for a while, not having cut herself since she first arrived here in Boston. But after the events of Kyle finding her and then Chris... She groaned at the thought of Chris having a baby with someone that wasn't her. That's what she thought about as she lifted the razor in her hand before propping up her right leg to expose the inside of her thigh. She let out a long breath as she pressed it into her skin, dragging it into a straight line. It only hurt for a moment before subsiding into a low throbbing. She placed one more cut beside it before laying back on the bed, taking in the pain for a few minutes. She barely had it cleaned up and a small bandage over both lines when she heard a knock on her bedroom door. She was surprised to find Chris on the other side when she opened it. "What do you want?"

He entered her room, closing the door behind him as he watched her slip the small box into her nightstand. She grabbed a pair of sweatpants to pull on when he noticed the bandage. He stopped her, pointing to the bandage, "that because of me?"

She pushed him away before pulling her pants up the rest of the way, "one of them is. What do you want?"

He watched her sit on the bed as he sat beside her, "I'm sorry Kara. I didn't ask for this."

"I know."

He sighed, "then what is it? I promised you I would stand by your side no matter what your choice was, even if that meant you wanted to keep the baby. Why aren't I subjected to the same?"

She groaned, standing up from the bed, "it isn't that at all Chris! If you had already had a baby, it would have been different. But having a baby now.. It's too much. With the loss of mine and my past. I can't do it."

"Can't do what? Love me?"

She sighed when he stood up with her, resting his hands at her waist, "that's exactly the problem Chris."

"What is?" He brought his hand up to run through her dark, wet hair. "I care about you Kara. And I don't want this to be the end of us."

"It has to be. You have the chance to have a family. I don't want to take that away from you."

He scoffed, "you won't. Her having my baby changes nothing between us."

"Of course it does!" She pushed him away from her as she moved away from him, "I've already had to give up the man I love because of having a baby with someone else. I won't do it again! It was too hard the first time."

"You don't have to give me up. I love you Kara. A part of me has since you turned to look at me when I pulled you over. We can figure this out. Please baby."

"And if you fall back in love with her? Surely that's exactly what she's hoping for."

Chris groaned, "I won't! That ship has long since sailed. I hold no more feelings for her Kara."

She nodded, "maybe not now. But come back to me when she's holding your baby and then tell me that. Please just go."

"Kara please. Don't do this."

She shook her head, "use your time to find Kyle." She turned away from him, facing the wall, "go." She heard him groan again but leave her alone before she threw herself on her bed, letting the tears fall.