Bound by force (Bind her#1)

Chapter- 19

I was sitting in front of the dressing mirror with my eyes closed, while the beauticians sent by Adrik worked their magic on me. But I couldn't feel anything. This is supposed to be the best of my life. Isn't it? Then why don't I feel anything?
           Adrik cares for me and protects me. I should be happy that I am marrying him but there is a strange heaviness in my chest. I feel as if I'm doing something I shouldn't, which does not make any sense. After all, I love him. I may not feel the things that heroines experience in romance novels. But that doesn't mean that I don't love him.

I feel like I'm stuck in a place while the world is moving around me.

It's like I'm in a bubble and I can't get out of it, no matter how much I try. This bubble is my safe haven, here, like Adrik said, no one will be able to hurt me. Then why do I suddenly feel the need to claw my way out of it. 

Before I could sink deeper into my mind, I distinctly heard a knock. 

When I felt heavy hands on my shoulders I jerked a little but relaxed when the familiar rosewood fragrance engulfed me. "Open your eyes, zaychik." His breath hit my ear as he whispered, making me shiver, involuntarily. (Little hare)
       Fluttering my eyes open, I looked up at him. I inhaled sharply because he looked breathtakingly handsome today. His long hair was tied in a low man bun, which somehow made his features sharper. His hand circled below my jaw to raise my head even more, then leaning down, he placed feather-light kiss on my jawline and cheekbones before gently pressing his lips against mine.

He soon released me and made me look in the mirror. My vacant eyes stared back at me as I looked at our image formed in the mirror. He was standing behind me in his black three piece suit with his hands resting on my shoulder. "We look so good together, don't we, meelaya?" He looked in the mirror with a small smile which looked more like a smirk as if he had conquered something. I nodded weakly even though I would've begged to differ, but the guilt of suddenly not wanting to marry him and the happiness on his face kept me from doing anything otherwise. 

There was nothing that looked good about it— us.

Standing behind me, he looked like a predator who would do anything to ensnare his prey whereas sitting in front of him with my hands folded on my lap, I looked like a weak prey who would faint any moment. There was no beauty in this picture. It looked nothing more than a terrifying, forced relationship between a predator and prey. 

The small voice in the back of my head was coercing me into telling him the truth. The truth about my true feelings regarding this marriage. But I squashed that voice when I saw him looking down at me with gentle eyes. 

I can't do this to him. He's been so gentle with me and I have done nothing but take advantage of it.

Taking my hand in his, he made me stand up. "It's time, sweetheart." He didn't wait for me to say anything as he handed me a bouquet of lavenders and Lilies and slowly started walking towards the door. His hand tightly clutched mine as if afraid that I would run away the moment he would release his grip. 
           My head spun a little and I felt too weak to walk. He caught me immediately when I almost fell down from the stairs. Seeing my decrepit state he bent down and picked me up in his arms. I rested my head against his chest where his heart beat rhythmically, relaxing me a little. 

My eyes were half closed when I heard the familiar sound of waves. Curiosity piqued me and I looked around to see that we were on a beach. Were we living on a beach property all this time? I didn't know because Adrik never cared to show me around. Maybe it's because I didn't ask him. I'm sure if I had then he would've gladly shown me.  
         I pressed myself tightly against him and hid my face in the crook of his neck when I saw the number of people watching us as we walked through the aisle towards the altar. I could feel their stares burning through my back, probably, judging and laughing at how weak I am.