Whiskey River, Drown my Soul

Chapter Eighteen

I decided not to burn the house down, just the bedding off of both my bed and the spare bedroom bed. Rev was annoyed because it wasn't going to burn well in twenty degree weather, but he did it for me anyway. It helped me mentally to see that stuff go up in flames as I watched from the warmth of inside the house.

After two panic attacks and one sob session, I had packed up all of Brad's clothes, shoes, belts, hats, and jackets, and had called both Andy and Steve to see if they wanted anything.

Andy said, "Fuck, no. I'm still mad. Even if I somehow come to terms with this, I'm not going to wear his stuff around as a reminder".

"Okay. Yeah. By the way, he was also cheating on both of us with someone named Amber Evans".

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?", my brother bellered through the phone. My eardrum was ringing.

"I wish".

"She was an intern! A fucking intern! Going to school for PR and Marketing! I knew she had her eye on him! I fucking knew it! That mother fucker! How dare he!?!?"

"Andy, please", I said. "I don't want you giving yourself a heart attack. It's done. I'm dealing with it. She doesn't still work for you, does she?"

"No, Kendra didn't like her. The internship ended at the end of the summer and we didn't keep her on. Kendra thought she was manipulative".

"And fake".

"Yeah, that- how do you know?"

"I saw pictures. Hair, boobs, and tan...all fake".

"Sweetheart, I am so fucking sorry. Right under my nose...".

"Don't, Andy. In no version of reality can this be your fault. Does Gi want anything else of Brad's?", I asked, to change the subject.

Andy hollered at her and asked.

I couldn't hear her reply.

"She wants to know if he had any ties".

"A few".

"She'd like his ties, apparently. I don't know what she's going to do with them".

"I'll save them for her".

Steve's conversation was much simpler.

He said, "Thanks, hun, but he was a little smaller than me. If he had anything from high school, I'd take that".

"Not that I've seen. I'll have you take a peek before I get rid of anything else, though".

"Okay, hun. Are you gonna tell me what you were talkin' 'bout yesterday yet?"

"Nope. Sorry, but you gotta talk to your wife".

"All right, Paigie. Love ya".

"Love you".

He wasn't going to love me much once he found out I lied to him for the past eight years out of self-preservation and because I was a fucking coward. I was scared to lose Brad even though I had Rev, and here I was. I had lost him anyway.

I pulled out the five ties Brad had for Gi, smoothing my hand over the silver tie he wore when we got married, and then I had a thought.

Charlie.

I should save some things for her, too. What, though? How could I possibly guess what she might want?

Rev came thundering up the stairs.

"I found-!" He stopped short when he met my eyes. "What happened?"

"Gi wanted to keep Brad's ties, and I just thought about Charlie. I should keep things for her but how do I know what to keep? I don't want to keep everything. I can't keep everything. Especially now that he...".