Whiskey River, Drown my Soul

Chapter Fifty-One

Over the next few days, Ip and I spent time talking about what we liked, what we thought was important, what we wanted out of life, and what we wanted to accomplish.

Clearly, Ip needed to work with horses, and he thought I needed to sing, but what we both felt compelled to do was to help children. That's why Ip had been running missions with Tim and why I had donated money to various causes like theirs while performing, and had finally started running missions of my own.

I strongly felt like the scenario Ip had presented to me, without meaning that it was for me, was probably the best fit option for both of us, and I told him so.

"I think we should do your plan of operating a ranch with it also being a learning opportunity and retreat for kids in foster care", I decided.

"Paige, please don't take up my dream as your own. You're only going to be dissatisfied later. I don't want you resenting me because of it".

He was concerned, his forehead creased in worry.

"That's not it", I assured him. "I understand that horses are your calling. They're a part of you, and you don't even seem like Ip without them. Honey, you don't even smell right".

He had smiled at that.

"When we had gone on that trail ride and you told me about this, I could see myself doing it with you. I could picture myself in what you said. You hadn't even known at the time that I grew up in foster care or that I always wanted to help kids like me. After I lost Drew, I remember Brad asking me if I wanted to adopt, and I told him I felt like my life had a different plan now. I could be a mother to a couple if I adopted, or I could accept the loss of my uterus as an opportunity to help countless kids".

I watched Ip's eyes fill with tears.

"And then", I continued, "when I was at the ranch and realized I was falling for you, Carmella asked me to do something. She told me to visualize a future with you, and I could do it, as clear as if I were watching a movie. I saw us living exactly that life, up to us being old and gray, letting one of the kids we had helped now run the ranch for us so we could sit on the porch drinking whiskey. We were so happy. But then, trying as hard as I could, I couldn't envision anything similar with Rev. I would have never guessed it at the time but it's like my subconscious knew he was going to die. I could not picture a future with him".

A tear did trickle down Ip's face then.

He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me so fiercely it hurt.

"All right", he said, definitely crying into my hair, "where you wanna put this ranch?"

"Tennessee", I replied decisively.

...........................................................................

The evening after they had decided to build a ranch somewhere in Tennessee, Ip got Paige to agree to public singing as part of their future plans.

"Shortcake, you need to do this", he concluded gently. "You don't need to decide any details about it right now. We can work out the genre and the level of commitment later. I simply want to hear you say that you will sing in public again".

She had rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. She came over to the edge of the bed where he had been sitting, climbed into his lap, wrapped her lithe arms around his neck, and said, "Fine. I will sing again...if, and only if, you go with me and sing with me when I want you to".

He laughed out loud. "You drive a hard bargain", he said, wrapping his arms around her waist, "but honestly, I was already planning on going with anyway".