Whiskey River, Drown my Soul

Chapter Twenty-Six

Ip woke to immediate flutterings in his belly and his heart skipping beats.

Calm down, he told himself. She's not sure yet.

Ip knew she loved Rev. He knew it. He had seen them together. He also knew Rev adored her (who didn't?) and he treated her with respect. Other than his work, Paige was literally the only thing in the world that man cared about, and Ip knew he wouldn't give her up without a fight.

Ip wasn't afraid of a fight and he wasn't intimidated by Rev. He respected him and trusted him with his life, but if he hadn't deserved it, he would have never let Rev lay a finger on him.

He had figured Rev would have wanted to kill him for giving Paige the intel which led to her crazy missions, and since he kinda wanted to kill himself for being so stupid, he made no effort to protect himself when he knew he was opening the door to Rev. He would have let Rev kill him if he wanted to.

Not now. Not for this. If Paige chose him, Ip would protect her from Rev, and he wouldn't allow Rev to beat his ass. He would, however, feel really badly for hurting him but not badly enough not to fight for her.

Ip had always believed, and still did, that he was a better fit for Paige than Rev or Brad. Ip felt like Paige was an afterthought to Rev. Like he had to work hard to squeeze her into his life. Brad, too, though his other issues were more blatantly wrong for her than simply lack of time. If Paige had been his during the past eight years, Ip would have dropped everything to travel with her and support her singing career, so that they could have been together all the time. He would have done that for her. Those men didn't, which is why he believed she had kept them both. Between the two of them she spent less time alone than she would have with either one.

Ip got up and got dressed for the day then went to find her. People were milling around the dining room and kitchen, grabbing coffee, finishing eggs. Paige wasn't one of them.

He sauntered down to her room. As he lifted his hand to knock, it opened. She glanced at his face, then her eyes flicked to the ground, and she silently started to walk out.

That glance had told him a hell of a lot, and he was all right with none of it.

He stopped her with a firm hand on her shoulder and guided her back into her room, saying, "Hold up a minute. Come back in here".

She quietly did what he said, then stood looking at the floor. This was a complete one-eighty from yesterday. Ip could tell she had been crying, hadn't slept well, and was probably beating herself up about the kiss not going as planned.

"You're not okay", he stated. "Tell me why".

She took a deep breath and shook her head no. "Don't worry about it", she said. "It's not because of you".

"Are you feeling guilty about trying to kiss me?", he asked. "Because I don't want you to. Just because I didn't let you doesn't mean I'm mad about it. The girl I've been in love with for nearly a decade tried to kiss me and says she thinks she has feelings for me. That has thrilled me to the very depths of my soul. Don't you dare feel guilty about that for one more second. Please".

She met his eyes and stared into them for a good long minute.

"I didn't even consider your feelings when I did it", she said. "I was only thinking about what I thought I needed to do. If I had considered you, I would have realized you wouldn't have wanted to unless I was single. Here's the thing, though. I still think I need to do it".

"Paige, no", he immediately said.

"Wait, just...hear me out. I have a problem...when it comes to men. I am a physical person. When I need comfort, it has to be physical to help me. You've experienced that with me already. So, it could be that because Rev isn't here, I'm using you as a crutch. You remember how I told you I kissed Steve after Drew died?"