Whiskey River, Drown my Soul

Chapter Fifty

Rev's funeral was simple, heartfelt, and surrounded only by those who knew and loved him. Ip felt like it was fitting, and exactly how Rev would have wanted it.

To most of the world, Rev was a ghost. Even the agencies and precincts which had worked with him didn't know much about him. He was a badass with a secret large heart. He did things no one else could, or dared. He fought battles most people preferred to ignore. He saw those who were left behind, stood up for those who couldn't protect themselves, and brought wrath down upon the wicked.

He didn't do it for money, prestige, or for any other reason than he felt a calling to do so. Yet this man said he didn't know if he believed in God. Ip knew that had been weighing heavily on Paige's heart as it had his own. They both believed he had made it to heaven, though. That mountain lion couldn't have been anything but the sign they believed it was.

Afterward, they had a lovely dinner in a private conference room, and then they gave toast after toast after toast- nearly every person in that room stood and said something about Rev, himself included, with tears pouring down his face.

He wasn't really sure why this had hit him so hard. He had been asking God to help him to work through all of his grief but he seemed to be stuck. He couldn't help feeling like he had secretly wanted this to happen so he could have Paige, thus the guilt was compiling that grief. He had talked with all of his family members over the past couple weeks, and they all encouraged him not to blame himself and to focus on supporting Paige.

Paige appeared thin and exhausted. She was still beautiful- she couldn't not be- but she had dark circles under her eyes and her collarbone was sticking out abnormally far above the neckline of her black dress. He also thought the dress appeared loose on her, and he guessed it was meant to be form fitting, as it looked like several other dresses he had seen her wear in the past which had fit her tightly.

Ip couldn't recall the last time he saw her eat, nor could he remember the last time he had. He vowed to start taking better care of her immediately, to start focusing on helping her through this rather than wallowing in his own guilt.

Now they had all migrated from the conference room to the hotel bar, which was an actual, legit, full-sized bar.

All day Paige had kept her hand tucked into the crook of his elbow but once she got a double in her, she pretty much disappeared, and Ip had been so tied up talking to other people, he couldn't keep track of her.

He hadn't seen Victor for years, and he knew the last time Paige had seen him was the night Brad got shot. Talking to him had to have been difficult for her.

Andy and Kendra cornered him, talking at length about what had happened, asking how Paige was doing, and what their plans for the future were.

"We really haven't talked about that yet", Ip said, feeling lost. "She decided to give Steve her house for the kids, and he's going to rebuild a new house on her land in the spring, but I don't know where she plans to go".

"And you?", Andy questioned, almost aggressively. "Where will you go?"

"Wherever she does if she wants me to, otherwise back to Jose's ranch".

Andy nodded his approval. "You both gotta do some grieving before you try and take on being a couple".

"Yes, sir. I very much agree", Ip said honestly, "but that doesn't mean we need to be states apart".

"Good man", Andy said, squeezing his shoulder. "It sure doesn't. I feel a hell of a lot better when she's not alone. She doesn't do well alone".

Tommy cornered him as soon as Ip had broken away from Paige's brother.