Follow Ash and his explosive experiments as he goes through adventures with his friends on Red Team and those Dirty Blues.
Season 1-10
(I don't own anything other than Ash.)
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"Men, thanks for meeting on short notice so covertly." Sarge says.
"No problem." Grif starts. "Had to move my lunch with the pope, but, uh, he was cool with it. He owes me." He looks to Simmons. "I helped him pick the hat."
"Shut up." Simmons tells Grif.
"I was only planning on how to build my next super weapon." Ash says. "I think a rifle that shoots plasma rounds. I'll call it the Plasma Repeater.
Sarge continues. "I don't want the blues finding out about this meeting, so, I want us all to agree, here and now, we're gonna keep this between ourselves."
"Sir, I don't know if you'be noticed, but we're not exactly 'buddy-buddy' with those guys anyway." Grif says.
"Eh, I'm not really in the market for new friends." Simmons says. "I'm not sure that I'm happy with the current crop."
"And It was weird being so close to our mortal enemy." Ash says.
"No offense, Sarge." Grif adds.
"Grif, tell us what you discovered on the radio." Sarge orders.
"Me?" Grif asks.
Simmons speaks up. "Um, actually, I'm the one who heard the distress signal."
"Uh-huh. Well, see, I thought-" Sarge begins.
Grif interrupts. "Yeah, I can't use the radio."
"And I'm not allowed to touch it." Ash adds in.
"Yeah, I discovered the distress signal." Simmons says. "That was me."
"I don't know how I got that mixed up." Sarge says.
"It's okay sir, as long as everyone's clear who heard it first."
"Sorry about that, Simmons."
"Why do you care?" Grif asks Simmons.
Simmons turns to Grif. "I think it's important to get proper credit,"
"How come I didn't get credit for the bomb back on sidewinder?" Ash asks.
Simmons continues ignoring Ash. "when some of us are working hard, discovering the distress signals on the Warthog's radio, while others are hanging out in the back seat, monkeying about or trying to build useless weapons."
"Okay." Grif begins. "First off, 'Monkeying about'? And secondly, I don't think listening to the radio classifies as 'working'."
"Also, my weapons aren't useless." Ash says. "When they start working they'll be unstoppable forces! Also 'Monkeying about'? What the hell?"
"It's a real phrase." Simmons tells them.
"Bullshit!" Grif says. "That's what you said about horse doodling!"
"People say it all the time."
"I've never heard anyone say that before." Ash says.
"Well, you're missing most of your memories." Simmons begins. "So maybe someone said it and you just don't remember."
Sarge speaks up. "No need to get upset fellas, I think we're all clear now. Simmons is the one who heard the distress signal, Ash was making useless weapons and Grif was the one monkeying around."
"About." Simmons corrects Sarge.
Sarge turns to Simmons. "Say who now?"
"Monkeying about."
"Yeah, people say it all the time, Sir." Grif says. "You want to get it right." Grif looks at Simmons. "Otherwise, you'll sound like a jackass."
"Can we please get back to the purpose of this meeting?" Sarge asks.
"I forgot we were here for a meeting." Ash says. Then he mumbles "I should build another nuke."
"Yeah, what is the purpose, exactly." Grif asks.
"I wanted Simmons to tell us that he heard a distress signal on the radio." Sarge explains, then he turns to Simmons. "Okay, go ahead, Simmons."
"Ummm..." Simmons begins and he looks to Grif and Ash. "I heard a distress signal, while listening to the radio."
"I know!" Grif is annoyed. "I was in the car with you when you heard it! In fact, why are we even having this meeting? Everyone here already know you heard the distress signal on the radio!"
"I just want to make sure everyone is on the same page." Sarge tells Grif.
"Same page?" Grif asks. "There's only one page! You know what the page says? Simmons heard a goddamn distress call on the radio! The end."
"That sucks." Ash says. "Write a new one!"
Grif turns to Ash. "Shut it!"
"Well look, down there at the bottom, it also says 'P.S. Grif and Ash were monkeying about.'"
"Well, I can see why we don't have a lot of meetings, The only person who doesn't know is Donut, and he's not even here!"
"That's because I asked Donut to distract the Blues, so we could have this secret meeting!"
Over with the Blues.
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Donut finishes telling a story. "And that's the story of how I saved Christmas!"
Caboose whispers. "I did not even know that the North Pole was in San Francisco! This changes everything!"
Tucker speaks up. "Yeah, and I don't think Santa's suit is a leather biker's outfit."
Church realizes something. "Hey, wait a second. Why are we letting this pink guy distract us?"
"I'm not distracting you!" Donut tells them.
"Yeah, you are! While we're sitting here, jabbering the reds are over there, Monkeying about!"
