Chairman: Dear Director, due to your busy schedule, we have begun interviewing members of your staff. I'm certain you will let us know if this bothers you. However, our debriefings keep coming back to a single subject at Outpost 17-B. Can you explain to us what this Meta is, and what your plans are to deal with it?
Miller runs down a ramp to Washington
Miller: Oh no! Hell no! Excuse me, sir, but no goddamn way!
Washington: You must be Lieutenant Miller.
Miller: I got Reds comin' out of my ass here boss, and you wanna take away one of my men for a... what did you say this was for?
Blue: Secret mission, sir.
Miller: Aw, you gotta be-a what!?
Wash: I think you have bigger issues than troop assignment, soldier. Like getting some of these vehicles back in working order. ''Wash indicates to the burning tank and wrecked jeep.''
Miller: What do you think I'm talkin' about? This is YOUR fault! You sent us the new guy; he said he was good with vehicles. All he does is talk to 'em. Talk to 'em! What the hell is that all about? And now look at the damn things!
Wash: I don't need to discuss your problems. I have orders, and those orders say I need Private Caboose and I need him now. He has information that could be vital to this-
Miller: Wait a second, Caboose? You're taking Caboose? And I don't have to pay you or anything like that?
Wash: Is that a problem?
Miller: A problem? Hehe, hell no! It must be Christmas morning n' no one told me. You stay right there, I'll get 'im for you. Private Jo-a-nes? Jo-a-nes? Jo-a-nes, where the hell are ya'!?
Jones: (sigh) Sir, for the millionth time, my name is pronounced 'Jones'. Jones.
Blue: Shut up, Jo-a-nes!
Jones: Seriously, lots of people have the name, it's very common. How am I the first person you've met called Jones?
Miller: Jo-a-nes, I need ya to go down to the brig, untie Caboose and get him up here.
Jones: Me... alone?
Miller: Double time, Jo-a-nes.
Jones: Its pronounced... never mind, Christ.
Washington: You keep him in the brig?
Miller: We keep him tied up in the brig. I'm not taking any more chances.
Gunshot, Jones cries out in pain, Caboose runs on
Caboose: Be careful.
Miller: (to Wash) You'll understand soon enough.
Caboose: You wanted to see me, Principal Miller?
Miller: Where's the guy I sent to get ya?
Caboose: Oh, him, yeah... um, he let me out then somehow shot himself in the back somehow. But we don't think it was anybody's fault. Everybody agrees it was an accident.
Miller: Jesus! Would someone go and check on him?
Blue runs off to check on Jones
Miller: This here is Special Agent Washington, from Blue Command. He has something fantastic he needs to talk to you about.
Caboose: Command? Oh no, they never have good news. Did somebody die? Was it my mom, is she dead? Or my dad, did my dad die again? Oh no.
Wash: What is this? I don't...
Miller: Hehe, you see, he's yours now. Hehe, no take-backs.
Caboose: Is it my brother? Was my brother killed? That's it, isn't it, my brothers dead!
Wash: What... no, nothing like that.
Caboose: Oh, good, because I don't even have a brother. H-how sad would it be to not have a brother and to lose a brother all in the same day.
Wash: No one died!
Blue runs in
Blue: Jo-a-nes is dead, sir.
Wash: Ok, no one besides him.
Caboose: Once again... nobody's fault. Pst... I think the new guy did it.
Wash: Private Caboose, you were stationed at Blood Gulch, correct?
Caboose: Yeah... that was fun.
Wash: And our records indicate that you were infected by an aggressive artificial intelligence program at one point. The Omega AI, is that correct as well?
Caboose: Yeah... that wasn't as much fun.
Wash: Ok, well, I need you to come with me. I'm investigating a critical issue and you seem to be the only person with the knowledge and experience necessary to help me.
Long, awkward silence.
Wash: And I just realised how ridiculous that sounded once I said it out loud. Nonetheless, I need you to come with me.
Miller: Can I have a word with him first, sir?
Wash: Sure, I guess.
Miller and Caboose walk over to the barrier.
Miller: Now Caboose, I know we didn't always get along.
Caboose: I got tied up.
Miller: Right. But all these mistakes... I know it's not your fault. You seem like a good kid, you're just a little... confused.
Caboose: Yeah... he is.
Miller: But I wanna give you a piece of advice. This guy looks like a tough customer, and you're bound to get into some situations that maybe you're not prepared for.
Caboose: Right, like a rodeo.
Miller: Now if that happens, if you find yourself in danger, or if you're in a situation where you think something bad is going to happen, I want you to remember just one thing. Never, EVER come back here.
Caboose: Ok.
Miller: No, I need to know that you understand. I need to hear you say it.
Caboose: Don't ever go backwards.
Miller: (sigh) I guess that's about as close as we're gonna get. (To Wash) He's all yours!
Wash: Great, let's get going.
Caboose: Okay.
Caboose walks off with Wash.
Caboose: Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet!?
Wash: Just... try and be quiet, ok.
Miller: (To Blues) Boys, this is a great day. Things are finally changing for us, I can feel it.
Blue: Should we bury Jo-a-nes now, sir?
Miller: Fellas, let's just enjoy this moment a little longer, hehe. He's not going anywhere.
Caboose and Wash walk off in distance, watched by a blue figure.
Caboose: (In distance) I'm hungry. I'm thirsty. I need to go to the bathroom again...
The Blue figure changes color to white, then turns to face the screen, there's a crack on the right side of the helmet, which blacks out.
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07-06-2022
YOU ARE READING
The Weapons Guy
FanfictionFollow Ash and his explosive experiments as he goes through adventures with his friends on Red Team and those Dirty Blues. Season 1-10 (I don't own anything other than Ash.)
