Sansinukob

Epilogue

Epilogue

Makalipas ang ilang linggo mula noong inilibing si Elly sa tabi ng puntod ng kaniyang mga magulang, palagi akong nakadungaw sa bintana niya habang inaalala ang masasayang ala-ala namin sa bintanang iyon. Hindi ko parin lubos na matanggap na wala na siya at hindi ko na siya makikita pa.

Nasa harap ako ng pinto ng bahay niya ngayon, pinagmamasdan ko ng may ngiti habang inaalala yung una naming pagkikita kung saan palagi akong pumapasok doon at lagi niya naman akong sinasalubong.

Pinunasan ko kaagad ang namumuong luha sa mata ko at unti-unting binuksan ang pinto, bumungad sa akin ang napakalamig at tahimik na paligid. Nang makita ko ang living room nila ay di ko maiwasang mapangiti lalo na ng maalala ko kung paano niya ako hampasin ng unan doon.

Pinagmasdan ko din ang malinis nilang kusina kung saan kami nagluluto noon, mga kulitan at saya ay tuluyan na ngang nag wakas. Hindi ko na siya muling makikita pa.

Dahan-dahan kong binuksan ang kwarto niya kasabay naman non ang pagtulo ng aking luha, pinagmasdan ko ang silid niya na sobrang makulay dahil sabay naming pininturahan iyon.

Naiimagine ko parin si Elly na nakadungaw sa bintana niya habang nakikipag-usap sa akin. Bigla kong naalala na may good news sana siyang sasabihin at iyon ay nakita niya na ang Notebook niya. Agad kong binuksan ang Cabinet niya at napangiti nalang ako ng kusa nang makita ko ang Notebook niya.

Binuksan ko iyon at tumambad sa akin ang napakadaming sulat galing sa kaniya, pero nagtaka ako dahil may isa pang Notebook ang nandoon at nagulat ako dahil sa front page nito ay may nakaukit na Eros.

Puno iyon ng mga sulat at tula na nilikha niya, binasa ko ang unang sulat niya para sa akin.

#1

I can write a million of poetries just for you, my beloved Eros. I don't know when it started but I just suddenly realized that I have fallen for you. Everytime I look into your eyes, I can see the whole Universe. I found my serenity in your eyes, and I found solace when I am with you. Life ends that is why I would like to write a message for you everyday I wake up. Good Morning, Eros!

#57

Hopefully next week, you’ll open your window because you don’t know how much I miss you, Eros. I want to punch you because I think you're avoiding me, just kidding. Please, open your window and greet me tomorrow morning. Don't forget the coffee, okay? Miss you!

#75

I couldn't say a word when I heard that you are sick and dying. I was too afraid to lose you, cause I was traumatized when my mom died because of Leukemia. Please, Eros, don't leave me...

Habang binabasa ko ang mga sulat niya ay tila dinudurog ang puso ko, gusto ko siyang yakapin ngayon ng sobrang higpit.

A-Ako 'yung may sakit, pero bakit nauna kang namaalam?

Hindi ko na mapigilang mapahagulgol habang yakap-yakap ko ang Diary ni Elly, sobrang lungkot ng pakiramdam na tila ba hindi na ako makakaahon sa kalungkutan. Graduation na namin bukas at pinangarap ko pa namang ikaw ang magsasabit sa akin ng medalya, Elly.

Sana panoorin mo 'ko bukas...

Monday, 8:05 AM.

There's this someone who said that fate is inevitable, but she answered him, why would you let the fate decide and write your own story? Let the universe be the author of your book, and live freely. Do anything without hesitation, you could be happy just by doing anything that could make yourself happy. She taught me how to live a life with full of joy, she taught me how to fight alone, but she's just quietly guiding me with my battles in life.

She's a strong woman, that has knowledge and wisdom. A brave lady who made me realize that life could be more miserable if you don't face the reality. Two people finding serenity in their chaotic world, seeking solace in their lifeless universe. They found each other, and heal together, but life is too cruel to let them have a happy ending. Multiverse does exist, a theoretical reality that includes a possibly infinite number of parallel universes. Different situations yet both ended tragically.

Every life has its own flow, sometimes it is in favor but most often it is not. No matter how hard it is to live, your life has its life that is why you're still breathing and continue living. Life isn't limitless, because death has no exact date. So live your life to the fullest and have a blessed morning to you all.

I just smiled as I finished my speech on stage. I will visit someone very important to me, and as I promised, I will visit her with my diploma while wearing my toga today. This diploma and all my achievements are not mine, these belong to her, to my Moon and my Universe.

You have been my compass
When I was in the darkest parts of my life
I got lost once and then you found me
No, I wasn't found at all
I was searched.

You let me see the beauty of life beyond what my eyes can see
You are the author of my book
And I am your beloved pen
When our paths meet
The Universe was created.

I was holding a bouquet of flowers and a cup of tea. Here I am now, ready to see my Universe again inside the beautiful window. I smiled in front of her as I happily raised my diploma, I am simply telling her that I made it.

We were only a few meters away, but she seemed to be on the other side of the Universe.

I saw her on the window, smiling as she gave me thumbs up and that made my tears fall. I raised my cap happily to show her that I made it. She just clapped her hands as her tears started to flow.

"You have fought a good fight, my Eros."

My body is so weak now as I stare into her eyes, it seems like at any moment I will lose my breath. I still tried to smile to show her I was very happy because even in the last moments of my life she appeared to me, so that I could catch a glimpse of her face before I say goodbye.

I saw that little by little she was blown away by the wind as my tears were falling, and at the last moment I heard her voice from her window. She happily waved at me so I waved back to her as I slowly closed my eyes.

"Adieu, Eros!"

"Farewell, my Lady..."

#100

I still don't believe in reincarnation, but I am hoping that I would find you in another Universe. The Constellation knows how I solemnly prayed multiple that I could still touch you in afterlife. In the name of this Universe, I promise that even on the other side of the world I will still seek you, Eros. This time I will deal with any compensation of breach of fortune. Because if finding you again on the other side of the Universe is a blasphemy, I am willing to give my hand and whole life just to find you again. The fate written by destiny will not hinder me because the holder of the pen of my book is none other than the Universe alone. I won’t let a century pass without seeing the smile on your lips again. Perhaps, I will be gone by the time you read the one hundred pages of this book which set forth my eternal love for you. You have been my pen during the times I have run out of ink, and I will always ask the Lord to allow me to find you again in my next life. But before this book ends,

I also want you to know that I am glad to fall into your Universe.

"Good Morning, Elly."

THE END

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