Arhan Hattar

Chapter 36

It's been a week since the incident kat hospital hari tu dan entah kenapa Adrian pergi serah diri kat polis.

But....The weirdest part is when the police couldn't find any evidence that said so. That said so yang Adrian dah bunuh adik Ariq. In fact, dalam data police tu mengatakan bahawa adik Ariq dah meninggal sejak lahir.

Weird, right? Maybe masalah ni akan diselesaikan sesama keluarga Ariq sendiri bersama keluarga Adrian.

And Hattar lansung tak nak campur tangan dalam urusan tersebut nampaknya. Why did I said that? Because that guy dah terbongkang kat rumah ni almost one week after kejadian di hospital tu.

Okay. Takdelah terbongkang sangat. Dia adalah tolong aku memasak bagai tapi ni apa case siap tak datang kerja ke hospital sendiri?

Habis tu pesakit dia yang ada masalah mental macam aku ni macam mana pulak?

"Ada pekerja lain selain aku, you know?"

Ugh...creepy. Did he just read my mind or something?

Hattar tergelak kecil seraya mengubah kedudukan perbaringan di atas sofanya tu kepada posisi duduk.

"Lagipun jarang aku ambil cuti. Aku just rasa nak rehat sekejap sampai hari new year nanti."

Oh...Right. New year. Lagi dua hari nak new year. So....lelaki ni akan ada kat rumah full time dalam masa dua hari je lah? Kinda sad actually. Had to admit it.

"Then masa new year, let's make a date."

Hattar terdiam. Merenung lama ke arah aku sebelum kelip-kelip matanya seakan-akan tak percaya dengan cadangan yang baru aku keluarkan ni.

"Serius?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Verrrrry serious?"

Woah. Tak yah nak pekat sangat 'very' tu.

Lagi sekali aku mengangguk.

Terus senyuman lebar terukir di wajahnya yang mana membuatkan aku tergelak kecil.

* * *
Have you guys ever had a day when everything feels so wrong with your.....

Existence?

Yeah. I'm having that moment right.

Like I just realised that nobody like me very much. But don't worry. I don't like myself either.

It's just...I don't know lah. It's just feel so wrong yang aku ni still wujud kat muka bumi ni.

Yeah. Memang lah orang akan selalu cakap live your life for others.

But that just make me feel much more worse. It's like they've been telling me to mind other's feelings instead of mine myself.

Hah....see? All good things become bad things in my mind when I'm alone. Is that why people said yang orang ada mental illness ni tak boleh ditinggalkan sendirian?

Yeah. I admit. I have a slight....

Depression.

Maybe add alittle anxiety at that. Wait. Is that why I've been trying to kill myself before?

Dude. I'm so stupid yet a little smart to figure this out on my own.

Aku terus tergelak bila memikirkan semua benda ni.

Dan tanpa sedar, dah ada beberapa torehan aku lakukan ke atas pergelangan tangan kiri aku ni. Aku mengeluh perlahan lalu bangun dari birai katil.

Cadar katil ni dicabut disebabkan terdapat banyak jugalah sisa darah aku yang tumpah tadi.