May 9, 2012
09:30 am
-Rolling-
[Scott Lang]
"Welcome to the first episode of what goes on inside Avengers tower, behind closed doors."
The camera turns to where Natasha, Steve, Hope, Sam, Maria, Coulson and Fury are all sitting on the couch, watching a movie.
[Natasha Romanoff]
"Scott, if you don't get that camera out of my face, I will kill you in your sleep."
[Scott Lang]
"Noted."
The camera turns to the rest of the Avengers arguing in the kitchen.
[Clint Barton]
"No, I'm telling you man, I'm Hawkeye, HAWKeye, I'm not a pigeon-!!"
[Sharon Carter]
"First of all, I'm a woman and second of all, I do not care, pigeon or not-!!"
[Thor Odinson]
"Why must you fight?!"
[James Rhodes]
"Really, goldilocks is having a say in not arguing?!"
[Thor Odinson]
"I am Thor. Not whoever this goldilocks man is-"
[Bruce Banner]
"No, Thor. Rhodey is...he's insulting you. You know, goldilocks is a storybook character in a fairytale book, she's got hair like yours."
[Clint Barton]
"HAWK!!! I'M A HAWK!!!!"
[Sharon Carter]
"IT'S THE SAME THING!!!"
[Clint Barton]
"NO, IT'S NOT!"
Laura rolled her eyes at the sight from the table, Pepper just sighed as Tony went to join the arguing, the two ladies then got up and walked over to the couch, where the more 'sensible' Avengers were.
[Bucky Barnes]
"WILSON, I SWEAR TO GOD!!!!!!-"
Barnes then came running through the door, grabbing some of the Avenger's attention, most of them just continued arguing, Bucky seemed to be missing an arm.
[Steve Rogers]
"What is it this time?"
[Bucky Barnes]
"That asshole stole my arm!!!"
[Sam Wilson]
"I did nothing of the sort!!!"
[Tony Stark]
"No, Lang, you are not filming our lives for the world."
[Scott Lang]
"What, why not?!"
[Tony Stark]
"Because I said so."
[Maria Hill]
"Oh, but we're so entertaining."
[Natasha Romanoff]
"Not to mention, some of us will have to go on the run and if you film us, someone might accidentally give away an alias."
[Tony Stark]
"See, Natalie has a point."
Tony said pointing to Natasha, she shook her head.
[Natasha Romanoff]
"I swear to god Stark. I'm going to kill you."
Tony took off at a run as Natasha rushed after him.
[Maria Hill]
"Now, this I have to see."
[Phil Coulson]
"Agreed."
The two agents went running in the same direction as Natasha and Tony.
[Pepper Potts]
"Oh, god. Now I have to stop a murder."
[Laura Barton]
"I'll help."
[Clint Barton]
"NO! HAWK I'M NOT A PIGEON AND DEFINITELY NOT A PENGUIN!!"
[Sharon Carter]
"IT DOES NOT MATTER!!"
[Bucky Barnes]
"WHERE THE HELL IS MY ARM!!"
[Sam Wilson]
"I DON'T HAVE IT YOU PSYCHO!!"
[Thor Odinson]
"HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT ME, TINY MORTAL!"
[James Rodes]
"Oh, so it's okay for you to call me a tiny mortal, but I can't call you goldilocks?!"
[Tony Stark]
"No means no, Lang."
[Hope Van Dyne]
Told you.
Fury, who was still sitting on the couch, turned to look at the camera dead centre as it zoomed toward his face.
Cuts to Fury sitting alone in a separate room.
[Fury]
"Every time. Every. Motherfucking. Time."
[Producer]
"So this happens often?"
Fury just looked at the producers, like they were stupid.
[Fury]
"Every. Mother. Fucking. Time."
[Producer]
"How long do these arguments usually last?"
[Fury]
"Days, months, years, it depends on what everyone's arguing about...or until there's a mission/threat that they need to handle."
[Producer]
"Only then?"
-Flashback-
The Avengers were working together very well, kicking ass. But the second they entered the tower, the arguing started, as did the fights, and more commotion.
[Fury]
"Yes."
-Cut-
YOU ARE READING
Adventures with the Avengers
HumorWhat if the Avengers were in a real-life sitcom, like Keeping up with the Kardashians. Note: None of this will make any sense, but please try to bare with it. btw, most characters are aged down, to make this make sense. I only speak English so all t...
