May 15, 2012
04:21 pm
-Rolling-
The Avengers were all sitting on the couch, still badly hungover from their party last night and early morning. No one said anything as Fury started to lecture them. No one really understood what he was saying.
[Fury]
"You all are careless, reckless, immature, irresponsible and dangerous."
Clint turned to Natasha and Laura, signing something, to which Natasha signed something back, Laura snickered giving him the thumbs up.
[Fury]
"I'm sorry. Is there something you three would like to share with the class?"
[Clint]
"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!"
[Laura]
"I'm good."
[Natasha]
"я не говорю по-английски" [I do not speak English.]
Fury turned to the redhead angrily.
Cuts to Natasha.
[Natasha]
"It's funny when he doesn't understand me."
Cuts to Fury
[Fury]
"I know she knows what I'm saying, she just chooses to ignore it and states she can no longer speak English."
"Yeah, I know what she's saying."
Cuts to Natasha.
[Natasha]
"He doesn't know shit. He only understands half of what I'm saying."
"And Russian isn't the only language I can speak."
Cuts to Tony.
[Tony]
"I don't know what the hell's going on, but it's hilarious."
Cuts back to the Avengers all sitting around the room with solemn looks on their faces.
[Fury]
"And Barton. I know you can hear me because you have your hearing aids on."
[Rhodey]
"Wait...Barton has hearing aids??"
[Tony]
"Yeah, I got them for him. Way back when..."
[Sharon]
"When what??"
[Tony]
"When you weren't here."
[Pepper]
"Tony, she's been in this industry when you were selling weapons."
[Tony]
"Aren't you meant to be on my side Pep?
[Laura]
"She's on whoever's right's side."
[Fury]
"ENOUGH!!!"
[Natasha]
"Иисус, перестань орать. Вызывает у меня кровавую головную боль." [Jesus, stop yelling. Giving me a bloody headache.]
[Fury]
"Now I know, none of you has any idea how much trouble you lot have caused-"
[Maria]
"God, he sounds like my dad."
[Coulson]
"Ha, ha. Yes."
[Natasha]
"He does."
[Clint]
"Totally."
The Avengers all burst out in a laughing fit, falling off the couch, rolling on the floor unable to contain themselves. This only angered Fury more.
[Fury]
"You think I sound like your dad huh?"
[Everyone]
"Yeah."
[Fury]
"Then how about, I treat you lot like my kids. Go to your rooms and think about. What. You. Have. Done."
For a minute no one moved, unable to come to terms with what just happened and what was going on.
[Fury]
"Now."
One by one the Avengers all slowly got up, their heads hung low and walked to their rooms, passing Fury.
[Tony]
"You're the worse dad ever."
[Pepper]
"Our rooms? Really??"
[Rhodey]
"Not cool man, not cool."
[Bruce]
"Sorry..."
[Bucky]
"Buzzkill."
[Sharon]
"Kill the fun much..."
[Sam]
"That's cold man. Even for you."
[Clint]
"I hate you."
[Fury]
"Cause that's mature."
[Laura]
"No hard feelings but...Hate you. Not kidding."
[Maria]
"Way to keep it, professional boss."
[Coulson]
"What she said."
[Hope]
"Sorry, dad..."
[Scott]
"Yeah, very sorry."
[Steve]
"We were just having fun."
[Natasha]
"What are we twelve?!"
[Fury]
"Want to act like kids. Get treated like kids."
The Avengers made their way to their rooms, not saying a word to each other, all grumbling a long line of cuss words.
-Cut-
YOU ARE READING
Adventures with the Avengers
HumorWhat if the Avengers were in a real-life sitcom, like Keeping up with the Kardashians. Note: None of this will make any sense, but please try to bare with it. btw, most characters are aged down, to make this make sense. I only speak English so all t...
