Sunset of Times

Kabanata 29

I don't understand. I don't get it. I don't know how to understand it. No, when will I ever understand?

A week had passed ever since our contest happened. Up until now, the results have not yet announced. And for those days, I never talked to my Father. Kahit tignan siya sa mga mata niya ay hindi ko ginawa. Luckily, hindi niya rin ako kinakausap. Kahit kumain nga kasama siya ay hindi ko ginagawa. I would rather bring my food inside my room than eat with him. I had enough. Ni hindi manlang siya nag abalang mag explain kung siya wala despite knowing that I have my contest that day.

Nasa school ako ngayon, Cassandrielle offered me to have a summer class with her, tutal ay wala naman akong magawa ay um-oo na lang din ako kaisa mabulok sa bahay at araw araw makita si Dad. That would literally trigger my emotions.

Nag apply palang naman kami, and we are about to eat outside not until a heavy rain came. Kaya wala kaming nagawa kundi sumilong muna sa building ng classroom namin, kaharap ang field at naghihintay tumila ang ulan.

I feel pale. I feel weak. Nanatiling nakatulala lang ako habang nakatanaw sa field kung saan putik at basang damo na lang ang makikita mo pagkat binasa na ito ng ulan.

"What so good about rains anyway? Why is it one of the beautiful things in this world?" Bulong ko sa sarili na halata namang narinig ni Cassy dahil napalingon siya saakin,

"Well, I sometimes like rain... But sometimes, I don't. Dipende kung may pupuntahan akong importante tapos umulan... Then I'll be dissapointed." Her soft voice answered me

I stayed quiet. This is the first time it rain again after a few weeks, and for some reason, nag iba na ang pananaw ko sa ulan. Hell I can imagine them right now, dancing in the rain like they are the most adorable couple in the whole universe.

I'm starting to doubt everything. I'm starting to question everything. What's so good about this Calie? What really made him fell in love with her? To the point that he wrote down their stories... Is Sunset of Times even true? O baka ginawa niya lang sa paraan na masaya siya sa libro? And not in the real life?

Binitawan ko ang mga gamit ko sa bench na inuupuan namin ni Cassy. And then the next thing I did, I walked towards the field. Agad ko namang naramdaman ang ulan at unti unti na akong nababasa.

"Oh my god, Stephanie! Come back here!" Rjnig kong sigaw ni Cassy

I laughed sarcastically as I turned around to face my friend. Halata sa mukha niya na nag aalala siya saakin at pilit na pinapabalik ako sa silungan.

"See?! Why can't I be happy?! I'm now under the rain, but why do I hate it?! Kailangan ko pa bang sumayaw dito at kumanta para malaman ko ang kahalagahan ng ulan?!" Sigaw na patanong ko kay Cassy.

I can see her confuse reaction... She started looking so stressed as she put down her things and run towards me. Unti unti na rin siyang nababasa ng ulan.

"Stephie, what are you doing?! Magkakasakit ka! Let's go," Hila niya saakin pero nag matigas ako

"Will he care, Cassy? Will he give his full attention to me kapag nagkasakit ako? If I get sick, mararamdaman ko na ba ang pag aalala ni Daddy saakin? Malalaman ko na ba kung ano sa pakiramdam ang inaalagaan ka ng magulang mo?" Tears started to fall from my eyes.

I'm not weak. I'm a strong independent woman but when it comes to talking about family, talking about my relationship with father, ewan ko... Nanghihina ako, parang nagiging iba ako... I get hurt easily, I cry easily... I get so emotional that I can't control it...