Hashtag Boys Series 1: #Awwwit (Liam)

Day 46.1

(Phone conversation)

07:19 PM

Miles:
Hello? Baby? (Knocks) Can you... open the door? 

Liam:
Hindi. Diyan ka lang. 

Miles:
I've been... looking for you. 

Liam:
Alam ko. (Pause) Sinabi ko ring huwag muna tayong mag-usap, 'di ba? 

Miles:
I know. I know... (Swallows) But... But I haven't seen you in days. I've been calling you yesterday... pero naka-off ang phone mo.

(Silence)

Liam:
Umuwi ka na lang muna uli, Miles. 

Miles:
I understand that you don't want to see me--

Liam:
Hindi. Wala kang naiintindihan sa nararamdaman ko ngayon at kung ga'nong pagpipigil ang ginagawa ko para... (Grits teeth) Hindi mo naiintindihan kung bakit hindi kita gustong harapin. Kung bakit ayoko munang makita ka. Kung bakit hindi ka dapat tumatawag ngayon. 

Miles:
But I promised you... that I'd tell you everything. I know Maggie told you something.

Liam:
Meron nga. 

Miles:
Baby... 

(Silence)

Liam:
'Tang ina... Miles. Ano'ng ginawa mo? (Voice breaks) Baby... ano'ng ginawa mo?

Miles:
I'm so sorry... (Sniffs) I was wrong. It was wrong. I'm so sorry, baby. I only agreed and cooperated with her because I thought... I thought you were someone who deserves to be with her--

Liam:
I deserve to be with her? Bakit? Dahil akala mo, gago ako kaya okay lang na paglaruan ako? Kaya nagkunwari ka sa 'kin? Kaya lumapit ka? Kasi ako naman 'yong gago?

Miles:
I'm sorry, baby. Ang dami kong maling alam tungkol sa 'yo. But when I get to know you little by little, I started to doubt my decisions and—

Liam:
Walang talab 'yong doubt na sinasabi mo sa mga usapan n'yo. 

Miles:
Bakit? Nag-record din ba siya ng conversations namin gaya nang ginawa niya sa conversations n'yo no'ng sa editing? When she sent me a record of you telling her you still love her? 

Liam:
Ano? 

Miles:
That's why I decided to leave Montecristo. Because I was so confused. I thought the flowers were for her because she sent me a recording of you telling her you still love her! So when you told me you liked me, I couldn't believe it. Kaya lalayo sana ako at iiwas sa gulo n'yong dalawa. I thought you were only using me, too! 

Liam:
Bakit ko gagawin 'yon? Hindi totoong mahal ko pa siya.

Miles:
I know that when you begged me not to leave you! (Sobs) I realized then that she lied to me. So the things that she told you... did she include the part when I told her I don't want to cooperate anymore? When I told her I won't tell her about you anymore? When I told her I know she lied to me and to Kuya Ken about you and that you don't deserve her shit?

Liam:
Hindi. Hindi niya obligasyong sabihin 'yon dahil ikaw dapat ang magsasabi no'n sa 'kin! 

Miles:
And that's what I've been waiting to do... (Sobs) I swear. (Sobs) When you begged me to stay, I knew then that she was a manipulative liar. That she cut that recording to the part where it would seem like you were still confessing your feelings. Pinarinig niya 'yon kina Kuya Ken kahit na alam namin pareho na hindi totoo 'yon. Alam niyang tayo na no'n. 

I know I should have hurried to tell you about the truth. But how would I start? Hindi lang ako sa 'yo nagsinungaling kundi pati kina Tita at kay Kuya Ken. I have to tell them the truth first--the truth about you and Maggie without looking like I was just smitten and blinded by you. Without looking like you were manipulating me, too. Without looking like ipinagtatanggol lang kita. 

When my family knew about our Batangas vacation, I told them everything. But she's still twisting the story. It was a mess. I thought I was doing something for Kuya Ken... and for our family. I thought I could still make it right. I thought I could make this hurt less. But all I did was make a mess and hurt everyone I love. I'm so sorry...

Liam:
Pa'no mo gagawing tama ang pagsisinungaling at pagmamanipula ng tao? Sa simula pa lang, mali na. Sana... kahit magalit ako o hindi ko maintindihan... sana inisip mo 'ko. Sana naalala mong mahal kita. Hindi 'yong parang sinadya mong malublob muna ako sa lalim ng nararamdaman ko sa 'yo bago ka magdesisyon kung dapat ko bang malaman 'yong totoo. Kasi karapatan ko namang malaman 'yong totoo, eh. Mahal mo man ako o hindi... totoo man akong  gago o hindi... hindi n'yo 'ko dapat pinaikot. 

Liam:
Ano'ng gagawin ko ngayong mahal na mahal kita? 'Tang ina, Miles, mahal kita. Mahal kita na putangina, hindi ko alam kung ano'ng gagawin ko maliban sa 'wag kang tingnan para hindi ako mabaliw. Lahat ng maganda, lahat ng inaalagaan ko, lahat ng nagpasaya sa 'kin sa ating dalawa, hindi ko alam kung pa'no dapat tingnan. Kahit ngayon... ang gusto kong gawin ay magmakaawa sa 'yo na huwag akong iwan. Kasi tanga ako at hindi ko alam kung kaya pa kitang bitiwan. Pero 'pag ginawa ko 'yon... 'pag nagmakaawa ako sa 'yo ngayon at pinilit kong lokohin ang sarili ko na matatanggap ko agad lahat, pa'no bukas? 'Pag kinunsinti ko katangahan ko, pa'no kita mamahalin nang totoo? Pa'no 'ko maniniwala sa 'yo? Pa'no ako? Pa'no kalaunan? 

Miles:
I'm sorry, baby. I'm so, so, sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry I'm hurting you. You don't deserve to beg. I'm so sorry... I love you. I really do love you. I didn't mean to hurt you this bad. This is all my fault. It was stupid of me. I'm sorry... Tell me what I should do to make it up to you. I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry...

Liam:
May magagawa ka pa para sa 'kin. 'Wag mo 'kong hayaang maging tanga. 'Wag mong hayaang mawala katiting na respeto ko sa sarili ko. Itigil natin 'to. (Grits teeth) Iwan mo muna ako, Miles. 

Miles:
Liam... Anything but that. Hindi ko kaya...

Liam:
Parang awa mo na... Umalis ka muna.

(Sobbing)

Miles:
Baby...

Liam:
Pakiusap lang.

Miles:
(Shaky voice) O-Okay. Okay... I'll go... I'll disappear. (Gasps) Okay. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I love you.

Liam:
(Grits teeth) Umalis ka na. 'Pag hinabol kita... kung hahabulin kita, 'wag mo 'kong lilingunin. 

Miles:
Okay...

(Sobbing) (Footsteps reluctantly going)

Call cut.