byler oneshots

31 - feelings.

*winter of freshman year*
*mike and Will are together*
*will pov*
*angst/fluff?"

There's nothing particularly wrong with my life, but sometimes I can't help but have an episode. Something inside me had always just felt sad. Maybe it's because of the bullying. Maybe it's because of my dad. Maybe it's because of the trauma. Maybe it's all of it being balled up for my whole life.

I haven't felt this bad in a really long time.

Mike and I have been on and off for a while because of his lingering feelings for El, and that hasn't helped at all with these already impending feelings of being alone and sad. I just wish that someone would make me feel like enough.

I shut my door quietly and close my blinds so that the sunlight can't shine in, and that's when I collapse into my bed. My shoulders shake as I cry about everything that has been going on.

Dustin is busy with school and Hellfire.

Lucas has basketball everyday.

Max has been totally MIA.

El is still obsessed with Mike despite our relationship.

And Mike.

God, Mike. I know he loved El for a long time, but I just wish he would show me that too.

My face turns hot as I continue to cry, the overwhelming amount of sadness and different emotions that have been suffering inside me surely are spilling out, and I can't control it. This happens to me like once every six months when I just can't pretend like everything is okay anymore.

I bury myself under my blankets and sob silently, visions of my friends appearing in my head. I continue to cry until I hear a slight knock on my door, but I stay buried.

"Will? Can I come in?" I hear an all too familiar voice say.

Mike.

"Sure." I croak. I unbury my face, and the sight of him is just enough to send me spiraling again.

"Will, what's wrong? Are you okay?" he asks, a look of worth washing across his face.

"Not really." I say, uncovering the rest of my body and sitting on the side of my bed, Mike coming over and sitting next to me.

"What's up? You can talk to me." Mike says, my blood boiling.

"Really?! I can talk to you Mike?! You haven't been here for me in forever. You've been so focused on El and you've made me feel like a total third wheel out of my own relationship!" I say, standing up letting the tears just spill out of my eyes.

"I - I didn't even realize that you felt like that." Mike chokes out.

"Of course you didn't. You're too focused on her." I scoff. My heart stings a little when I see how hurt Mike looks.

"I'm so sorry, Will. You're right. G - god your right. I've been such a dick. I've been paying more attention to my ex then my actually boyfriend." Mike says, my heart leaping at the word boyfriend.

He's never said it out loud before.

"I'm so sorry. You deserve the entire world, Will. I'm sorry I haven't been giving it to you, but I want to start. No more cancelling plans. No more short phone calls. You're the one I love. Not her." he says, standing up in front of me. I weakly smile and blush as his hand cups my cheek.

"I love you." he says quietly before pressing his lips softly on mine. I can feel my tears melt away at his touch. All my sadness just seems to float away at the feeling of our lips together and his hands on my hips.

When he finally leans away, I can feel my cheeks turning red.

"I love you too, Mike. So much. But could I - could I maybe talk to you? I just really need someone to talk to." I say, scratching the back of my neck nervously.

"Of course. Let's get comfy and I'll listen for as long as you need." he says with a smile.

I change into pajamas and join him in my bed, musing my head on his chest. All the sudden, the words just flow out. I tell him everything that had been on my mind, and he doesn't try to pity me or anything, he just listens.

All I've needed is for someone to listen and it feels amazing.