byler oneshots

74 - i - i do love you

•will pov•
•angst and fluff•

When I get home, I take a deep breath when I don't smell coffee or cigarettes or hear music, meaning I'm the only person home.

I walk quickly to my room and slam the door, even though it's just me, and collapse onto my bed in tears. I curl up into a ball underneath my grey blanket and cover my face, crying softly into the smooth, polka dot covered sheets.

"Why doesn't he love me?!" I sob, images of Mike flashing through my head over and over. At first, it's just images of us hanging out and playing when we were younger, but it slowly fades to him practically ignoring me in the hallway so that he can talk to a group of girls who are of course all swooning over him.

I mean, who wouldn't?

Something inside me pushes me to get up and go into the living room, picking up the phone and dialing his house by instinct. The phone rings a few times, and that's when I hear Nancy on the other end.

"Hey!" she says happily.

"H - Hi." I say back, hesitating with fear.

"Oh, hey Will. Is everything okay? You sound upset." she asks, worriedly.

I stutter out a few more words before slamming the phone back against the wall. I run back to my room and sit at my desk, trying to focus on one spot on my wall to avoid another panic attack, but it's too late. My hands shake and my body shivers as I hyperventilate, laying my head in my hands.

"It's okay. It's okay. It's okay." I mutter to myself. I hear the door open, which is relieving because both my mom and Jonathan know how to help me deal with my panic attacks, especially because they have become more frequent in the past few weeks.

"Will? Will?! I'm hear to check on you. Nancy drive me over because she was really worried!" I hear Mike's familiar voice call through the house. I'm frozen in fear when I realize that he'll have to see me like this. He knows sort of about my anxiety, but this is a whole other level.

"Will, I'm coming in." he says, opening my door. I can't bring myself to turn my head and look at him, but I can tell from the silence that he's scared. I am too.

"Will, oh my god. Are you okay?" he says, no movement.

"P - Panic Attack." I mutter, sounding more pathetic and helpless than ever.

"Oh." he says.

I feel him shuffle over to me, and before I can even process. He kneels down on the ground and wraps his arms around me.

"Here. Get down from the chair so we can sit together." he says calmly. I slowly shift my weight from the chair to the ground, squeezing my eyes shut. I bring my knees up to my chest and Mike wraps his long arms around my body tightly.

"It's okay, Will. It's gonna be okay. All of this is gonna pass soon, I promise." Mike whispers. I immediately feel myself calm down, my body not shaking and my eyes opening.

I slowly lean away, and his arms still linger on my body.

"I didn't know you had panic attacks. I get them too." Mike says, looking away.

"Y - You do?" I ask.

"Mhm." he says sadly.

"Im so sorry. I had no idea." I say slowly, our eyes locking.

"It's okay. I do a good job of hiding it." he says, shrugging his shoulders.

"You don't have to hide it around me." I say softly, a small smile forming on his face.

"What we're you upset about? You can talk to me about it if you feel comfortable." Mike says. I feel tears fill my eyes again.

"I-I can't tell you." I say quietly.

"Why?" he asks.

"Because I'm afraid I'll ruin everything between us." I cry. He holds me close again, and my heart begins to pound in my chest.

"Nothing could ever ruin what we have, Will. Nothing." he says, reassuringly.

"I just - I love you. I love you as more than just my best friend, and I know that you like girls, and I'm sorry if this makes things awkward, but the feeling has been eating my alive for as long as I can remember, and I hate it. I hate that I love you and you don't love me back, Mike." I cry, leaning away.

His face becomes soft and his eyes sparkle with tears.

"Will, I - I do love you. Of course I love you." Mike says, taking my chin in his hand.

"What? You do?!" I say, wiping my tears off my face.

"Of course Will. How could I not?" he said, smirking slightly as a tear rolls down his cheek.

He slowly presses his lips to mine and I sit there in shock for a moment. I rest one of my hands on his knee and the other on the back of his hair in his raven black curls.

He puts his free hand on my side and pulls my body to him, our lips moving in sync.

When we finally pull away, the only sound in the room is our breath becoming steady.

AN

this is kind of boring. sorry i haven't written in a while, but i wanna thank you guys SO SO SO SO much for 10k reads. that's absolutely insane, and i can't thank you enough. give me some suggestions for my next chapters. 🫶🏻