byler oneshots

46 - eavesdropping and confessions

*they aren't together*
*will pov*

I grab my walkie talkie excitedly, flipping to the channel that I talk to Mike on. He's been really distant lately, but every time I see him I feel a tad bit of hope that he is still my best friend and not just El's boyfriend.

They started dating consistently about two years ago, and lately it's been crushing me. As much as I tell myself that I don't like him, I know that that's not true in any sense.

"Mike? Are you there?" I ask, sitting on my bed and crossing my legs. I wait a few seconds.

"Yeah. What's up?" he asks, the sound of his voice filling my heart.

"I was wondering if you wanted to hang out?" I ask, crossing my fingers in my lap.

"I uh - uh I can't tonight. Sorry." he says. I can feel tears filling my eyes at the thought of him with El right now. I probably interrupted them kissing or laughing or flirting. I can feel my stomach start to form knots as the tears spill from my eyes.

"Okay." I say, putting down the walkie talkie. I cry silently for about another minute before hearing shuffling in the walkie talkie.

He didn't hang up.

"Mike, you can't keep cancelling on him because your scared." I hear Dustin say. Scared of what?

"I know that, okay?! I know, but I can't face him anymore and hang out like we used to. Not when I feel this way for him." Mike says loudly. I can feel my breath hitch in my throat.

Feel what way for me?!

"I know, buddy, but you're crushing him. For god sakes, Mike, he's been stuck in the upside down, tortured by the mind flayer, and now he has lost you. His best friend. His safe space." Dustin says. Every single one of his words hit me like a ton of bricks, because each one is truer than the last.

I lost Mike.

I lost my safe space.

"I know. I know. I need to talk to him. I'm just scared that - that he doesn't feel the same. Or scared that if he does, we get caught." Mike says, his voice shaky and uneasy. I wipe the tears from my eyes, and in the next hour, I hear a knock on the door.

My heart pounds out of my chest as I walk to the door, swinging it open to see him. His hair is messy and his eyes are puffy and red, making it look like he had been crying all afternoon.

"Hey." I say, forcing a smile.

"Hey, can we talk outside?" he asks. I nod uneasily and step outside onto the porch with him, my hands shaking. I know what he's gonna say, but at the same time, he feels unpredictable. What if I misunderstood everything him and Dustin were saying?

"So, is everything okay?" I ask, shuffling from foot to foot.

"Not really. I want to - I wanna start off by apologizing. I've been such a bad best friend since I met el. I have only been focused on her, and now I know how shitty that was of me to abandon you. I abandoned you." he says, seeming like he's talking more to himself then me toward the end. I can feel tears welling up in my eyes. My whole body begins to shake slightly, a look of worry appearing on his face.

"If we're being honest, it hurt so fucking bad to lose you. I have spent almost every night crying in my room, and I know that sounds pathetic, but you were everything to me and I lost you. Mike, who am I kidding, you're still everything to me." I say, tears streaming down my face. His face drops as he begins to cry too. We stand there, staring awkwardly at each other while sobbing silently.

"Can I hug you?" I cry. Without answering, he wraps his arms around my waist, pulling my body into his. I wrap my arms around his back, crying into his shoulder as he rubs my hair. My body melts into his touch.

Two teenage boys crying on a front porch.

I should feel weird about it, but I don't. This is everything I've needed. I needed to let the pain out so that I can heal.

"Mike?" I cry, not letting go.

"Yeah?" he asks, leaning away slowly, wiping some of the tears off of his red freckled face.

"I heard you talking to Dustin. You didn't turn your walkie talkie off." I say, his face going blank. He looks down at his feet, obviously embarrassed, but he knows it wasn't my intention to embarrass him.

"Y - you heard everything?" he chokes out.

"Yeah. I'm sorry I kept listening, but I just couldn't help myself." I tell him.

"You heard what I said about me - about me feeling a certain way about you?" Mike asks, shuffling his feet.

"Mhmm." I hum.

"I'm so embarrassed. I'm so sorry. I don't know if you feel the same, and I don't wanna force you to feel the same, but I really am in love with you. I have been since we were little kids on the playground, and I'm sorry you lost me. I ignored my feelings for you because all I've been told my whole life is how wrong it is to be gay, and I know you've heard the same, but I can't help it anymore. I love you so much but-" he says, but I cut him off. I drape my arms over his shoulders, pressing my lips onto his.

He stands there for a moment in shock, but then places his hands on my waist, pulling my body towards his. I savor every second of the kiss, of the feelings of our bodies pressed together, and especially the feeling of all the stress of the past two years being lifted off of my shoulders.

When we finally pull away, his hands stand on my hips.

"I know this is gonna be hard to keep from everyone, but I can't not be with you. I'd rather kiss in secret then not kiss at all. I need to be with you as much as I can and make up for the past two years." Mike says, my heart fluttering.

"I feel the same way. I can't wait to be with you, Mike." I say, my mind floating.

"Good thing you don't have to wait one more second." he says, pressing his lips to Mike again.