byler oneshots

79 - ignore your emotions

•the day the byers moved•
•mike pov - angst•

I've never been good at showing my emotions. Whenever I would cry as a kid, my father would yell at me and say things like "Don't be a girl!" and "Real men don't cry!", and now I can't remember the last time I cried in front of anyone.

As the Byers pulled out of their all too familiar driveway where we spent years of pulling away on our bikes, playing tag, and just talking while sitting on the cool pavement, a pit formed deep inside my stomach.

Not because El and I had decided to break up before they left, but because I was watching Will, my best friend, leave, and I didn't know when the next time I would see him would be.

The rest of the party pulls away on their bikes, but I can't bring myself to leave. I collapse onto the ground in a heap, sobbing into hands, and that's when I feel someone touch my back.

My head shoots up, and I begin to cry even more when I see Nancy, her cheeks red and stained with hot tears just like me.

"I know, Mike. I know." she cries, collapsing onto the ground with me as we hold each other like little kids.

Does she mean she knows how hard it is to lose your best friend, or she knows how much I have always been in love with Will?

We sit like that for a few minutes before we get into her car and she takes us to get ice cream to cheer us up, but it doesn't really help.

It's been almost three months, and nothing has helped. I constantly just feel...helpless.

•switch to Will POV when they left Hawkins•

I glance one last time out the window to see the party standing there, puffy eyed just like me, all except for Mike of course. I don't know if I've ever seen him cry.

He just stares blankly until we are out of sight, and that is when I completely break down. I sob as quietly as possible, but there's no use. This pain can't be hidden.

Even though one of the last conversations Mike and I had was a fight, I still think about how I wished I would have just told him right then and there how I felt.

How in love with him I am and always have been.

"Will...I know. I know this is gonna be hard. We'll come back and visit soon. Promise." Jonathan says, getting my nod in approval.

•back to Mike POV months later - does not follow any of S4•

I wake up to the sound of rain slashing against my windows, the empty feeling still lingering in me like it had since Will left a few months ago. Everything has gone to shit since then.

My parents have been fighting more.

My mom misses her best friend, Joyce.

Nancy and Jonathan broke up.

And I have been the most depressed and lonely than ever. I miss him so much.

I hear the door open and close downstairs and some quiet talking, causing me to rise from bed and change into a sweatshirt rather than my Star Wars T-shirt.

As I rub my eyes and brush my hair from my face, I hear the hallway creek outside my door.

"Nancy?" I call, but there is no response.

Annoyed, I slowly move in front of my door, and that's when I see him. It takes me a second to even register what is happening, but it's real. He's real.

Will is standing in front of me with a nervous grin on his face, and I just collapse into a heap on my floor, not able to hold my tears of relief inside.

I hear his breathing slightly speed up as he comes in and shuts the door, falling to the ground next to me.

"M - Mike? Mike are you okay?!" he asks, obviously panicked.

"Yeah. I'm okay. I just - I can't believe you're here." I say, picking my head up and hugging him tightly. We wrap our arms around each other and squeeze tightly, our chests pressed together and our heads on top of each others shoulders.

"I missed you so much." he cries.

"I missed you too." I cry, eventually getting up.

"You look so tan." I say, laughing so I don't cry again. His cheeks turn slightly red.

"Mike, I really missed you." he says, causing the pit in my stomach to form again.

"Will, I have to be honest. Ever since you left, I've been on meds. I can get through a day without thinking about you. I need you." I say, inching toward him.

"Oh my god, Mike. I had no idea. You should have called!" Will says, taking my hands in his.

"I knew if I heard your voice, it would make it even harder to not see you in person." I say softly.

"Well I'm here now. And I need you too. I always have." he says, moving even closer, making my heart beat faster.

"I - I miss you. I...I love you." I say, pulling him even closer.

"I love you too, Mike. Always have." he says, wrapping his arms around my neck.

I wrap mine around his back, placing my lips lightly on his. It feels like everything is being lifted off my shoulders as we kiss slowly. Our bodies press up against each other as we kiss, and when we finally release, he pulls me into his arms and lets me stay there for a long time.